to the tune of “Escape [The Pina Colada Song]” by Rupert Holmes) I was tired of the crazy We hear from President Trump. Like a worn out recording Of monkeys taking a dump. Then he talked to Zelensky On a telephone call And though the transcript ain’t perfect, I got the jist of it all. We got subpoena coladas, From gettin caught in Ukraine. We got a crazy old fogie Who only has half a brain. And he likes tweeting stuff at midnight And making jokes about rape Here’s the dirt that you’re looking for, Just impeach, he won’t escape. So the stuff I reported Came out in just a few weeks. As I hoped and expected, All of Washington freaked. And the Donald responded With an official note. It showed up in the paper, It was the same thing I wrote. We got subpoena coladas, From gettin caught in Ukraine. Now we add Giuliani, And he’s flat-out insane. He says to praise him as a hero, Leaving newsmen agape. These guys both need straitjackets, So they cannot escape. So we’re just getting started Everyone’s getting tense. In it up to their eyeballs, Are Pompeo and Pence. It only took one blown whistle To start a big avalanche. Now the reckoning’s coming For the executive branch. We got subpoena coladas, From gettin caught in Ukraine. Then Trump calls Schiff a traitor, With his very good brain. And he keeps on digging deeper, We’ve got the video tape. Can you say President Pelosi? I don’t think they’ll escape.