Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III: 'I Don't Recall . . .'

Yeah, right.

'Jeff Sessions Just Can't Recall Whether Or Not He's A Keebler Elf '

'In another bizarre exhibition of the ragged state of the Republic, the Senate Intelligence Committee heard "testimony" Tuesday on the Russian connection from Attorney General, wilted southern flower, good ole obstructionist boy and "flustered Gump in the headlights" Jeff Sessions, who despite his high-ranking position as the country's top lawyer somehow couldn't seem to remember being anywhere or doing anything, except not to worry, whatever he did that he can't rightly recall, it was all good and proper. The New Yorker's Andy Borowitz captured the drama of a man suddenly, inexplicably "ravaged by amnesia," quoting a bewildered doctor: “In all the medical literature, we have never seen an example of someone capable of holding down such a high-powered job while having no memory whatsoever of people he met, things he said, places he has been, or thoughts he has had,” Logsdon said. “It’s the stuff of science fiction.”

'According to commentators, it also may or may not be the stuff of obstruction of justice; many lawmakers argued that Sessions' answers, or lack of same, "do not pass the smell test." Amidst a ridiculous stream of "I don't know," "I don't recall," "I couldn't say," "not to my recollection" and "I can't remember" - and pandering idiocy from GOP lawmakers -journalists and social media wiseacres rose to the elf-themed task: "This guy sure doesn't know much about the law - good thing he's not the top lawyer in the country or anything...'I'm not able to talk about personal conversations' is just racist old white guy for 'snitches get stitches'...Every pothead Jeff Sessions wants to throw in jail has a better memory than Jeff Sessions..." And, in tribute to the fierce star of the day, California's Sen. Kamala Harris - who hammered Sessions so effectively all the old white guys kept trying to shut her up - "Kamala Harris is only wearing one shoe because the other one is in Jeff Sessions' ass."'​

 

It's funny how Republicans can never seem to remember so many conveniently specific conversations so damn often. It seem to be their #1 defense when cornered into telling the truth or lying.

 

Sessions is a nasty piece of work. Now that he has his own thread, I'll just put this here:

'Jeff Sessions is misleading Congress to advance his inhumane war on medical marijuana'

"Atttorney General Jeff Sessions wrote a letter to congressional leaders last month.

"His goal was to convince them to get rid of the 2014 law that bans the Justice Department from spending any money to stop states “implementing their own state laws that authorize the use, distribution, possession, or cultivation of medical marijuana.” Though medical marijuana remains technically illegal at the federal level, in practice this policy gives states authority to make the decision for themselves.

"The Obama DOJ challenged the rule, but they lost in court last year. Ever an unrepentant drug warrior, Sessions has apparently decided to pick up where the Obama team left off, and thus this letter to Congress.

"That would be frustrating enough on its own — if not exactly surprising given Sessions’ terrible record on drugs and criminal justice issues more broadly — but what makes this letter especially galling is how blatantly deceptive it is. Sessions is misleading Congress to advance his inhumane war on medical marijuana. Here’s what he wrote:

"'I believe it would be unwise for Congress to restrict the discretion of the Department to fund particular prosecutions, particularly in the midst of an historic drug epidemic and potentially long-term uptick in violent crime. The Department must be in a position to use all laws available to combat the transnational drug organizations and dangerous drug traffickers who threaten American lives.'
​

"Let’s break this down.

"First, the “historic drug epidemic” Sessions mentions has nothing to do with marijuana, and certainly nothing to do with legal, medical marijuana (often prescribed by doctors) used to treat chronic pain and illness. It’s an opioid epidemic, not a pot epidemic. Abusing heroin is not similar to using medical marijuana to alleviate your PTSD, cancer, or epilepsy. Not even close.​

"Second, there’s good evidence that legalizing medical marijuana is one of our best tools to stop the very “historic drug epidemic” Sessions cites. States in which medical marijuana is legal see markedly lower rates of opioid abuse and overdose. Reviving federal prosecution of medical marijuana providers is precisely the wrong thing to do to fight the opioid epidemic.​

"And third, legal medical marijuana providers are not fostering violent crime. Full stop.​

"These are legitimate businesses. They have storefronts and logos and tax bills. In most states they are tightly regulated. They are certainly not buying their product from 'transnational drug organizations and dangerous drug traffickers who threaten American lives.'

"They are not doing anything violent or illegal because legalization means there’s absolutely no need. Prohibition, not legalization, is what leads to violent crime."​

 

Conan's take:

 

He has "tried" and failed to be honest.

 

More memory problems for the good ol' boy. No way he was lying; he just didn't remember what he talked about with the Russian ambassador.

'Jeff Sessions discussed Trump campaign with Russian ambassador – report'

"Jeff Sessions discussed Donald Trump’s White House bid with the Russian ambassador to Washington in 2016, according to reported US intelligence intercepts which contradict the US attorney general’s assurances that the campaign was not discussed.

"Sergey Kislyak told his superiors in Moscow he talked about campaign-related matters and significant policy issues during two meetings with Sessions, according to current and former US intelligence officials, the Washington Post reported on Friday.

"The ambassador’s accounts of the meetings – which US spy agencies intercepted – clash with those of Sessions and pile fresh pressure on the attorney general just days after the president publicly criticised him.

"Sessions was a senator and senior foreign policy adviser to Trump during the presidential race. After being tapped to run the justice department, he initially failed to disclose his encounters with Kislyak and then said the meetings were not about the Trump campaign."
​

 

Is this based on our own intercepts or just the Russian ambassador's word? I think the Russians are just screwing with us at this point.

 

I wonder how long Sessions will be able to remember this:

"Rejecting Sessions' Plea, Senate Panel Votes to Protect Medical Marijuana"

"Jeff Sessions' former Senate colleagues, dismayed at Donald Trump's humilating tweets and comments about him, are rallying to his defense, urging the president to stop castigating an attorney general he describes as a "beleaguered" and "very weak" disappointment. But their solidarity with Sessions goes only so far, as demonstrated by today's vote on a spending rider that blocks Justice Department interference with medical marijuana laws.

"The Senate Appropriations Committee approved the rider, known as the Rohrabacher-Farr amendment, by a voice vote, indicating that it was not controversial among the panel's members, who include 16 Republicans. The committee thereby rejected a personal plea by Sessions to let the amendment lapse."​