15 December Puns

Discussion in 'Chatter' started by Tim Bruening, Dec 15, 2007.

  1. Tim Bruening

    Tim Bruening Guest

    nemo wrote:

    > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
    > news:43B0FC39.57A638EF@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
    > > Happy 2nd day of Chanukah!
    > >
    > > "Keith E." wrote:
    > >
    > > > Sat, 17 Apr 2004 12:19:46 GMT was a day just like any other,
    > > > until maelmill@eunet.at (Elisabeth M?ller) wrote:
    > > > >On Mon, 12 Apr 2004 03:02:49 GMT, Keith E. <i.m.knot@aol.com> wrote:
    > > > >
    > > > >>Sun, 11 Apr 2004 19:38:31 GMT was a day just like any other,
    > > > >>until maelmill@eunet.at (Elisabeth M?ller) wrote:
    > > > >>>On Sat, 10 Apr 2004 02:58:45 GMT, Keith E. <i.m.knot@aol.com>

    > > wrote:
    > > > >
    > > > >>>>That's more accurate than you know, pygthurr - I was heading
    > > > >>>>pygthur Detroit.
    > > > >>>
    > > > >>>Why did you drive pygthur Detroit? Was this some kind of
    > > > >>>shotgun-driving?
    > > > >>
    > > > >>I used pygthur merely exist in a Detroit suburb.
    > > > >
    > > > >And why on earth did you return there?
    > > >
    > > > I haven't, since I escaped. That happened pre-escape.

    > >
    > > Escape: Cape of Superman.

    >
    > Battyscape: Wet African poof/fag's cloak.


    Why do the oil companies hate Chanukah?

    Because it commemorates the time 1 day of lamp oil lasted for 8 days!
     
  2. "JeanDArc~~" <jda000111@hotmail.com> wrote in
    news:1c259c9c-40e5-4c00-a616-35b5e42dd48b@v46g2000hsv.googlegroups.com:

    > On 11 Jan, 12:06, Phil Kyle 2008 <philkyle2...@hotmail.com> wrote:
    >> "JeanDArc~~" <jda000...@hotmail.com> wrote
    >> innews:61de1aec-879e-4f6a-a036-199b678580da@s19g2000prg.googlegroups.c
    >> om:
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >> > DESCRIPTIONS OF TROLLTYPES

    >>
    >> > 1. The old definition

    >>
    >> > The old definition of a Troll is one who posts to generate the
    >> > maximum number of follow ups. These are a very minor irritation,
    >> > and can be considered to be advantageous to newsgroups.

    >>
    >> > 2 .The Irritating Troll

    >>
    >> > Some merely post drivel, or tirades against netnannies and netcops,
    >> > often at a BI of over 20. In general they cause little real damage
    >> > to newsgroups.

    >>
    >> > 3.The destructive Troll

    >>
    >> > In about the year 1999 a new breed of Troll appeared who have the
    >> > declared intention of destroying a specific Target newsgroup. This
    >> > is done by a variety of posts, (see Section 4) intended to drive
    >> > normal posters away from the specific newsgroup.

    >>
    >> > When the percentage of Troll posts, including followups exceeds
    >> > about 75% of the total posts, most readers seem to just give up and
    >> > unsubscribe. Usenet, and particularly the uk.local.* hierarchy is
    >> > for most users a hobby and if that hobby ceases to be enjoyable,
    >> > the obvious answer is just to find another hobby.

    >>
    >> > Once a specific Target newsgroup has been laid waste as was
    >> > uk.local.birmingham it becomes a Old Target newsgroup, This
    >> > happened in about February 2000 it is being maintained a
    >> > wasteground by crossposts from the current Target ng.

    >>
    >> > Alt.astrology.metapsych at the time of writing is totally destroyed
    >> > by destructive trolls. This is reported at:
    >> >http://www.astroconsulting.com/FAQs/abusive_ISPs_list.htm

    >>
    >> > Here is a useful FAQ that explains what has happened to the group I
    >> > created alt.astrology.metapsych:
    >> >http://www.hyphenologist.co.uk/killfile/anti_troll_faq.htm

    >>
    >> > 4. The nasty Troll

    >>
    >> > If anyone does anything which will interfere with the troll's
    >> > ability to cause mayhem, they can become very nasty, posting from
    >> > obviously incorrect variations of the name etc. insults, call them
    >> > netcops, netnannies, homosexuals.

    >>
    >> > Various off usenet methods are also used to force the victim to
    >> > stop posting: Subscribing the victim to hundreds of unwanted
    >> > pornographic email newsletters, and sites. Complaining to employers
    >> > about non existent misdemeanours. Sending garbage emails without
    >> > indication of sender. Telephone calls at dead of night. Harassing
    >> > the close relatives of victims.

    >>
    >> > 5. The evil and illegal Troll

    >>
    >> > If anyone does anything which will interfere with the troll's
    >> > ability to cause mayhem, they also forge posts in that persons name
    >> > and internet address and libel them on usenet. Both these are
    >> > illegal.

    >>
    >> > 6. How they are organised

    >>
    >> > They use private listservers to communicate between themselves. An
    >> > archive of one such listserver is
    >> > athttp://www.uklocaltrolls.fs2.com. For less important
    >> > communications, they use Troll Communications newsgroup(s).

    >>
    >> > The listserver must have an owner(s) who can approve or deny
    >> > access. Other than that anarchy reigns where each member does what
    >> > he/she thinks fit. Thus because no leader or committee exists
    >> > coordination with the group is impossible. Any agreement reached
    >> > with one or more can instantly be abrogated by others.

    >>
    >> > Coordinated action can occur where it forwards their general aims

    >>
    >> You stole this from somewhere cos I've read it before. I'm calling
    >> the RIAA MPAA RSPCA the AA and the BUM (not the BBC Under Managemnt,
    >> BTW) --

    > Of course you have read it before, because I have posted it before
    > ;-)
    >


    I've read it on the web somewhere, you thief.
    --

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  3. Tim Bruening

    Tim Bruening Guest

    nemo wrote:

    > Buffalo Chilkat <mammal@watering.hole> wrote in message
    > news:fujsrvoa1p9vaqgev3kva7l1843it24n6p@4ax.com...
    > > On Fri, 21 Nov 2003 17:51:51 GMT, "nemo" <nemo@naughtylass2.wet>
    > > wrote:
    > >
    > > >
    > > >nemo <nemo@naughtylass2.wet> wrote in message
    > > >news:ea8vb.51685$qu.43608@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk...
    > > >>
    > > >> fredmiller@the.PC <fred609@webtv.net> wrote in message
    > > >> news:3361f1b9.0311192251.4d6cc77b@posting.google.com...
    > > >> > "Sheila Dundee" <CorKa@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> wrote in message
    > > >> news:<3fbc2286$0$13673$afc38c87@news.optusnet.com.au>...
    > > >> > > Kathy wrote:
    > > >> > > > "nemo" <nemo@naughtylass2.wet> wrote in message
    > > >> > > > news:MCPub.27404$qu.7789@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk...
    > > >> > > >>
    > > >> > > >> fredmiller@the.PC ?Z <FRED609@webtv.net> wrote in message
    > > >> > > >>

    news:1660-3FBB0A8B-487@storefull-2375.public.lawson.webtv.net...
    > > >> > > >>> nemo@naughtylass2.wet (nemo) wrote :
    > > >> > > >>>
    > > >> > > >>> Old MacDonald was dyslexic - E O I O E
    > > >> > > >>> (Billy Colony)
    > > >> > > >>>
    > > >> > > >>> Silly burger!
    > > >> > > >>>
    > > >> > > >>> Nemo
    > > >> > > >>>
    > > >> > > >>> Silly AND stale old burger. You want flies with that ?
    > > >> > > >>>
    > > >> > > >> Don't tell me they've started doing Eccles Cake Burgers!
    > > >> > > >>
    > > >> > > > Nah, they merely signed the Maggot ? laCarta.
    > > >> > >
    > > >> > > I larva pun like that!
    > > >> >
    > > >> > You'll outgrow it once you find your wings.
    > > >>
    > > >> Not if he drinks his ale late!
    > > >>
    > > >That obviously went over your heads. It would. It's the technical

    term
    > for
    > > >wing-like and is used to describe winged insects such as queen and

    drone
    > > >ants!
    > > >

    > > Hey Mr. High and Mighty. I have a Ph.D. in that bug stuff, so blow

    it
    > > out your ass.
    > >

    > You sure it ain't a Nh.D., nick?!
    >
    > And I haven't had mighty yet. It's still in the pot.


    Potting: Musical ceramic container.

    Potting: Musical majuana.

    Plotting: Musical play.

    Plotting: Musical farm.
     
  4. "JeanDArc~~" <jda000111@hotmail.com> wrote in
    news:b001ae65-9cfd-49a1-b53f-3b0b014af9b5@l1g2000hsa.googlegroups.com:

    > On 12 Jan, 12:07, Phil Kyle 2008 <philkyle2...@hotmail.com> wrote:
    >> "JeanDArc~~" <jda000...@hotmail.com> wrote
    >> innews:1c259c9c-40e5-4c00-a616-35b5e42dd48b@v46g2000hsv.googlegroups.c
    >> om:
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >> > On 11 Jan, 12:06, Phil Kyle 2008 <philkyle2...@hotmail.com> wrote:
    >> >> "JeanDArc~~" <jda000...@hotmail.com> wrote
    >> >> innews:61de1aec-879e-4f6a-a036-199b678580da@s19g2000prg.googlegroup
    >> >> s.c om:

    >>
    >> >> > DESCRIPTIONS OF TROLLTYPES

    >>
    >> >> > 1. The old definition

    >>
    >> >> > The old definition of a Troll is one who posts to generate the
    >> >> > maximum number of follow ups. These are a very minor irritation,
    >> >> > and can be considered to be advantageous to newsgroups.

    >>
    >> >> > 2 .The Irritating Troll

    >>
    >> >> > Some merely post drivel, or tirades against netnannies and
    >> >> > netcops, often at a BI of over 20. In general they cause little
    >> >> > real damage to newsgroups.

    >>
    >> >> > 3.The destructive Troll

    >>
    >> >> > In about the year 1999 a new breed of Troll appeared who have
    >> >> > the declared intention of destroying a specific Target
    >> >> > newsgroup. This is done by a variety of posts, (see Section 4)
    >> >> > intended to drive normal posters away from the specific
    >> >> > newsgroup.

    >>
    >> >> > When the percentage of Troll posts, including followups exceeds
    >> >> > about 75% of the total posts, most readers seem to just give up
    >> >> > and unsubscribe. Usenet, and particularly the uk.local.*
    >> >> > hierarchy is for most users a hobby and if that hobby ceases to
    >> >> > be enjoyable, the obvious answer is just to find another hobby.

    >>
    >> >> > Once a specific Target newsgroup has been laid waste as was
    >> >> > uk.local.birmingham it becomes a Old Target newsgroup, This
    >> >> > happened in about February 2000 it is being maintained a
    >> >> > wasteground by crossposts from the current Target ng.

    >>
    >> >> > Alt.astrology.metapsych at the time of writing is totally
    >> >> > destroyed by destructive trolls. This is reported at:
    >> >> >http://www.astroconsulting.com/FAQs/abusive_ISPs_list.htm

    >>
    >> >> > Here is a useful FAQ that explains what has happened to the
    >> >> > group I created alt.astrology.metapsych:
    >> >> >http://www.hyphenologist.co.uk/killfile/anti_troll_faq.htm

    >>
    >> >> > 4. The nasty Troll

    >>
    >> >> > If anyone does anything which will interfere with the troll's
    >> >> > ability to cause mayhem, they can become very nasty, posting
    >> >> > from obviously incorrect variations of the name etc. insults,
    >> >> > call them netcops, netnannies, homosexuals.

    >>
    >> >> > Various off usenet methods are also used to force the victim to
    >> >> > stop posting: Subscribing the victim to hundreds of unwanted
    >> >> > pornographic email newsletters, and sites. Complaining to
    >> >> > employers about non existent misdemeanours. Sending garbage
    >> >> > emails without indication of sender. Telephone calls at dead of
    >> >> > night. Harassing the close relatives of victims.

    >>
    >> >> > 5. The evil and illegal Troll

    >>
    >> >> > If anyone does anything which will interfere with the troll's
    >> >> > ability to cause mayhem, they also forge posts in that persons
    >> >> > name and internet address and libel them on usenet. Both these
    >> >> > are illegal.

    >>
    >> >> > 6. How they are organised

    >>
    >> >> > They use private listservers to communicate between themselves.
    >> >> > An archive of one such listserver is
    >> >> > athttp://www.uklocaltrolls.fs2.com. For less important
    >> >> > communications, they use Troll Communications newsgroup(s).

    >>
    >> >> > The listserver must have an owner(s) who can approve or deny
    >> >> > access. Other than that anarchy reigns where each member does
    >> >> > what he/she thinks fit. Thus because no leader or committee
    >> >> > exists coordination with the group is impossible. Any agreement
    >> >> > reached with one or more can instantly be abrogated by others.

    >>
    >> >> > Coordinated action can occur where it forwards their general
    >> >> > aims

    >>
    >> >> You stole this from somewhere cos I've read it before. I'm calling
    >> >> the RIAA MPAA RSPCA the AA and the BUM (not the BBC Under
    >> >> Managemnt, BTW) --
    >> > Of course you have read it before, because I have posted it before
    >> > ;-)

    >>
    >> I've read it on the web somewhere, you thief.
    >> --

    > Every word is from a big book that I am allowed to use
    >
    > without your noisy interruptions.
    >


    This is a newsgroup, I can reply to what I fucking well want.
    --

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  5. Tim Bruening

    Tim Bruening Guest

    nemo wrote:

    > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
    > news:43B8F22A.4FEEEAAF@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
    > >
    > > mike wheeEler wrote:
    > >
    > > > In article <3361f1b9.0311090828.5edf5751@posting.google.com>,
    > > > fred609@webtv.net, fredmiller@the.PC was looking at the world oddly

    > when:
    > > > >
    > > > >wheeEler@tns.net (mike wheeEler) wrote in message
    > > > news:<3fae06a4_4@127.0.0.1>...
    > > > >> In article <UIfrb.35203$Ou6.32444@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk>,
    > > > >> nemo@naughtylass2.wet, nemo was looking at the world oddly when:
    > > > >> >
    > > > >> >
    > > > >> >mike wheeEler <wheeEler@tns.net> wrote in message
    > > > >> >news:3fad0a0c_5@127.0.0.1...
    > > > >> >> In article <giLqb.17425$Ou6.16443@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk>,
    > > > >> >> nemo@naughtylass2.wet, nemo was looking at the world oddly when:
    > > > >> >> >
    > > > >> >> >
    > > > >> >> >mike wheeEler <wheeEler@tns.net> wrote in message
    > > > >> >> >news:3fab29e3_5@127.0.0.1...
    > > > >> >> >> In article <A3zqb.13848$Ou6.7423@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk>,
    > > > >> >> >> nemo@naughtylass2.wet, nemo was looking at the world oddly

    > when:
    > > > >> >> >> >
    > > > >> >> >> >
    > > > >> >> >> >mike wheeEler <wheeEler@tns.net> wrote in message
    > > > >> >> >> >news:3fa9bdc0_3@127.0.0.1...
    > > > >> >> >> >> In article <c4bqb.1498$Ou6.17@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk>,
    > > > >> >> >> >> nemo@naughtylass2.wet, nemo was looking at the world oddly

    > when:
    > > > >> >> >> >> >
    > > > >> >> >> >> >
    > > > >> >> >> >> >fredmiller@the.PC <fred609@webtv.net> wrote in message
    > > > >> >> >> >> >news:3361f1b9.0311042051.77694287@posting.google.com...
    > > > >> >> >> >> >> "nemo" <nemo@naughtylass2.wet> wrote in message
    > > > >> news:<m%Upb.1355$_f4.1110@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk>...
    > > > >> >> >> >> >> > Buffalo Chilkat <mammal@watering.hole> wrote in message
    > > > >> >> >> >> >> > news:b39eqvsloqtcjg98s8350cl6afr0o18lcb@4ax.com...
    > > > >> >> >> >> >> > >
    > > > >> >> >> >> >> > > Man with butterflies in stomach leave caterpillars in
    > > > >> outhouse.
    > > > >> >> >> >> >> >
    > > > >> >> >> >> >> > Sailor with stones in kidneys leave rocks in Head.
    > > > >> >> >> >> >>
    > > > >> >> >> >> >> Billboard MagazineHead line :
    > > > >> >> >> >> >> HEADBANGERS ALERT !
    > > > >> >> >> >> >> Rolling Stones to Rock Kidney, Australia
    > > > >> >> >> >> >
    > > > >> >> >> >> >Rolling Stones: The worst pain known to medical silence!
    > > > >> >> >> >> >
    > > > >> >> >> >> It's your Jewel of d'Nile... next week is Ruby Tuesday..
    > > > >> >> >> >>
    > > > >> >> >> >What a giveaway!! Have you got the set of her and another

    > model in a
    > > > >> library
    > > > >> >> >> >;o)!!! Oops! There's another giveaway!
    > > > >> >> >> >
    > > > >> >> >> >Ruby Tuesday?? Is that when somebody rubs her up the wrong

    > way? -
    > > > >> Probably
    > > > >> >> >> >Melon-knee!
    > > > >> >> >> >
    > > > >> >> >> Just a melon collie Monday was spicey...
    > > > >> >> >> You were thinking
    > > > >> >> >> John Cougar Melon knee and camp..
    > > > >> >> >
    > > > >> >> >He had a very strange fetish. Saw him mountain lion once!
    > > > >> >> >
    > > > >> >> You jogged my memory...
    > > > >> >> That bit about Monday was actually by the BangGirls..
    > > > >> >
    > > > >> >Not BangGirls, Boar-balls and Beads?
    > > > >> >
    > > > >> Them other ones will tell you that they want, what they really realy

    > want..
    > > > >> is your balls..
    > > > >
    > > > >Not a problem. I can give them the sac !
    > > >
    > > > I think he is cheating.
    > > > I can tell because I saw him walk like he jipped them.

    > >
    > > Cheating: Bell that commits adultry.

    >
    > Infantry: Very small soldiers.


    Adultry: Tree that cheats.
     
  6. Tim Bruening

    Tim Bruening Guest

    nemo wrote:

    > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
    > news:4330E563.CDE91E0E@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
    > >
    > > nemo wrote:
    > >
    > > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
    > > > news:4232784A.8EF52152@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > > Jenni Saqua wrote:
    > > > >
    > > > > > "Michael Balarama" originally wrote ...
    > > > > > > at church two people from the electric company sat next to me..was

    > a
    > > > > > > shocking experience...nearly blew a fuse.
    > > > > > >
    > > > > > >
    > > > > > However, one later told me *he* was amazed at the power of your awe,
    > > > mighty!
    > > > >
    > > > > How stimulating!
    > > >
    > > > Operation Ore: A Savage attack on Iraq's p?dophiles!

    > >
    > > Or an attack against boat paddles.

    >
    > Operation Shocking Gnaw: Attack on Iraq by a terrifying giant beaver!


    Beaver: Aquatic apine that builds dams.
     
  7. Tim Bruening

    Tim Bruening Guest

    In article <8YMkj.12134$xm1.389@fe2.news.blueyonder.co.uk>,
    "nemo" <nemo@naughtylass.wet> wrote:

    > > > > > > > > > > > > What does an oyster bar taste like? Is it covered

    > with
    > > > > > > > chocolate?
    > > > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > > > I don't care, uh, Mel. I /do/ know that lobster bars
    > > > > > > > shouldn't be
    > > > > > > > > > > > thrown fast and straight.
    > > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > > Sand Bar: Very gritty candy.
    > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > Dogger Bank: Where canines keep their money.
    > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > http://www.bartleby.com/65/do/DoggerBa.html
    > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > "We've run aground!! Oh my cod!!"
    > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > Soap Bar: Very clean candy, or alcohol vender, or jail, or

    > lawyer
    > > > > > > > group.
    > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > A London Inn of Court occupied by a group of lawyers who deal

    > with
    > > > > > > > vice
    > > > > > > > cases: Lincoln Sin.
    > > > > > >
    > > > > > > Do they drive Lincoln cars or play with Lincoln logs?
    > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > An Inn of Court occupied by a group of lawyers who deal with

    > vice
    > > > > > > > cases
    > > > > > > > involving little spindley men from flying saucers: Grey Sin.
    > > > > > >
    > > > > > > How about men from flying plates, glasses, forks, knives, spoons,
    > > > etc...
    > > > > > >
    > > > > > OK. I give up. How *about* men from flying plates, glasses, forks,
    > > > knives,
    > > > > > spoons, etc...
    > > > >
    > > > > why is it always men -- how about some women from -- etc..
    > > >
    > > > Praps they don't have them or have them, and that's why the roam the

    > galaxy
    > > > looking for some.
    > > >
    > > > And there's a planet called etc.??

    > >
    > > Yes that's its name thou they did not planet that way
    > > (bureaucratic foul up --- too busy looking for women to correct)

    >
    > How *do* you hold a bureaucratic foul up? By its legs?


    That sounds messy.
     
  8. Tim Bruening

    Tim Bruening Guest

    nemo wrote:

    > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
    > news:45B473DA.AAAD817E@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
    > >
    > >
    > > nemo wrote:
    > >
    > > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
    > > > news:45B2C4EA.2D890397@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > > nemo wrote:
    > > > >
    > > > > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
    > > > > > news:41F608D8.9820DCF1@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
    > > > > > >
    > > > > > >
    > > > > > > nemo wrote:
    > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
    > > > > > > > news:41F07935.9801EBBB@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
    > > > > > > > > Carbide: Chemical car company.
    > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > Carbon: Car pastry.
    > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > Carboy: Son of a car. (Also a Carson).
    > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > It's also the big bottle that a car's battery acid used to be
    > > > > > transported in
    > > > > > > > in bulk, and the lad who had to carry it.
    > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > Carcass: A dead auto.
    > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > Carcinoma: Cancer caused by, or happening to an auto.
    > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > . . . or caused by very naughty behaviour inside a

    > car.
    > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > Mellownoma: A kind of tumor that's more relaxed and laid-back,
    > > > becuase
    > > > > > you
    > > > > > > > get it when your relaxing out in the sun getting sunburned.
    > > > > > >
    > > > > > > Mellonoma: Tumor that looks like a large green fruit with a red
    > > > interior.
    > > > > > >
    > > > > > Narr. That one makes you melancholy, i.e., you end up with a head

    > like a
    > > > > > melon and a face like a collie!
    > > > > >
    > > > > > It's cured by eating plenty of pastry made with collieflour.
    > > > >
    > > > > Biotry: Tree that hates everyone.
    > > >
    > > > You're thin king of something larger than that - a bigotry!

    > >
    > > Thin King: Monarch of diets.
    > >

    > Thin King Cap: His utility crown.


    Think Tank: Smart armored vehicle.
     
  9. nemo

    nemo Guest

    "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
    news:4795A304.CDA79AD2@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
    >
    >
    > nemo wrote:
    >
    > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
    > > news:45B473DA.AAAD817E@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
    > > >
    > > >
    > > > nemo wrote:
    > > >
    > > > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
    > > > > news:45B2C4EA.2D890397@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
    > > > > >
    > > > > >
    > > > > > nemo wrote:
    > > > > >
    > > > > > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
    > > > > > > news:41F608D8.9820DCF1@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
    > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > nemo wrote:
    > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
    > > > > > > > > news:41F07935.9801EBBB@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
    > > > > > > > > > Carbide: Chemical car company.
    > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > Carbon: Car pastry.
    > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > Carboy: Son of a car. (Also a Carson).
    > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > It's also the big bottle that a car's battery acid used to

    be
    > > > > > > transported in
    > > > > > > > > in bulk, and the lad who had to carry it.
    > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > Carcass: A dead auto.
    > > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > > Carcinoma: Cancer caused by, or happening to an auto.
    > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > . . . or caused by very naughty behaviour

    inside a
    > > car.
    > > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > > Mellownoma: A kind of tumor that's more relaxed and

    laid-back,
    > > > > becuase
    > > > > > > you
    > > > > > > > > get it when your relaxing out in the sun getting sunburned.
    > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > > Mellonoma: Tumor that looks like a large green fruit with a

    red
    > > > > interior.
    > > > > > > >
    > > > > > > Narr. That one makes you melancholy, i.e., you end up with a

    head
    > > like a
    > > > > > > melon and a face like a collie!
    > > > > > >
    > > > > > > It's cured by eating plenty of pastry made with collieflour.
    > > > > >
    > > > > > Biotry: Tree that hates everyone.
    > > > >
    > > > > You're thin king of something larger than that - a bigotry!
    > > >
    > > > Thin King: Monarch of diets.
    > > >

    > > Thin King Cap: His utility crown.

    >
    > Think Tank: Smart armored vehicle.


    Military vehicle for transporting people suffering from Clinical Depression:

    Armoured Personal Hell Carrier.

    (No offence intended to anyone suffering this. It's just a pun)
     
  10. Tim Bruening

    Tim Bruening Guest

  11. Tim Bruening

    Tim Bruening Guest

    nemo wrote:

    > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
    > news:402B0F6E.95932F6D@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
    > > Diaper: Price of coloring.
    > >
    > > Hyper: Price of exaggerated advertisements.
    > >
    > > Perversion: Price for each kind.
    > >
    > > Pervert: Price of green.
    > >
    > > Super: Price of soup.

    >
    > Cheap soup: Minestrone.
    >
    > Expensive soup: Maxistrone.


    Chicken Soup: Soup that runs away.

    Pea Soup: Soup you wouldn't want to eat.
     
  12. Tim Bruening

    Tim Bruening Guest

    110 days to Hug Your Cat Day on May 15.
     
  13. Tim Bruening

    Tim Bruening Guest

    Sheila Dundee wrote:

    > Buffalo Chilkat wrote:
    > > Sheila Dundee wrote:
    > >
    > >> J. A. Mc. wrote:
    > >>> On Thu, 13 Nov 2003 07:56:50 GMT, Buffalo Chilkat
    > >>> <mammal@watering.hole> found these unused words floating about:
    > >>>
    > >>>> On Thu, 13 Nov 2003 18:01:11 +1030, "Sheila Dundee"
    > >>>> <CorKa@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> wrote:
    > >>>>
    > >>>>> Buffalo Chialkt wrote:
    > >>>>>> On Wed, 12 Nov 2003 23:15:34 +1030, "Sheila Dundee"
    > >>>>>> <CorKa@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> wrote:
    > >>>>>>
    > >>>>>>> fredmiller@the.PC wrote:
    > >>>>>>>> "Sheila Dundee" <CorKa@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> wrote in message


    > >>>>>>>> news:<3fb029ee$0$3787$afc38c87@news.optusnet.com.au>...
    > >>>>>>>>> Buffalo Chilkat wrote:
    > >>>>>>>>>> J. A. Mc. wrote:
    > >>>>>>>>>>
    > >>>>>>>>>>> On Mon, 10 Nov 2003 21:48:16 +1030, "Sheila Dundee"
    > >>>>>>>>>>> <CorKa@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> found these unused words
    > >>>>>>>>>>> floating about:
    > >>>>>>>>>>>
    > >>>>>>>>>>>> Buffalo Chilkat wrote:
    > >>>>>>>>>>>>> Sheila Dundee wrote:
    > >>>>>>>>>>>>>
    > >>>>>>>>>>>>>> Buffalo Chilkat wrote:
    > >>>>>>>>>>>>>>> ynotssor wrote:
    > >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
    > >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> The FDA has been looking for a generic name for

    Viagra.
    > >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> After careful consideration by a team of government
    > >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> experts, it recently announced that it has settled on


    > >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> the generic name of mycoxafloppin.
    > >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
    > >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Also considered were mycoxafailin, mydixadrupin,
    > >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> mydixarizin, mydixadud, dixafix, and of course,
    > >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> ibepokin.
    > >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
    > >>>>>>>>>>>>>>> That got a rise out of me.
    > >>>>>>>>>>>>>>
    > >>>>>>>>>>>>>> But I've heard that's not hard.
    > >>>>>>>>>>>>>
    > >>>>>>>>>>>>> Let's meat and find out. :)
    > >>>>>>>>>>>>
    > >>>>>>>>>>>> OK - I like to chew the fat
    > >>>>>>>>>>>>
    > >>>>>>>>>>> That'll bison time.
    > >>>>>>>>>>
    > >>>>>>>>>> She wants some of me jerky, too.
    > >>>>>>>>>
    > >>>>>>>>> What's your beef? Don't want me to see your raw hide?
    > >>>>>>>>
    > >>>>>>>> It's the tanning he'll get that he should be concerned about.


    > >>>>>>>
    > >>>>>>> You've suede me.
    > >>>>>>>
    > >>>>>> You can leather my hide, soap lease a condo date me some w'hair


    > >>>>>> salooner than later, pleas.
    > >>>>>
    > >>>>> Hay, are you skinny kid?
    > >>>>>
    > >>>> Woodn't ewe lick to gnaw. :)
    > >>>
    > >>> Sheila, he's just a skinny dip.
    > >>
    > >> That explains why I can't bare him!

    > >
    > > You can't bare me a heir? That's a raw hide.

    >
    > It's a chamois he won't accept hand rubbing.


    Rub Bing: A Bing Crosby massage?
     
  14. Rob Arndt <teuton263@aol.com> wrote in news:a27ae725-34d6-477e-be19-
    a7da5f6d64fa@s12g2000prg.googlegroups.com:

    > It gives me great pleasure to announce the defeat of Bertie the Bunyip
    > here at RAM. Here is how he lost in detail:
    >
    > 1) He directly tried to outpost Rob Arndt- big mistake on this group,
    > DEFEATED BY 1/09/08
    > 2) He tried to tag-team with butt-buddy FledgeIII with insults,
    > DEFEATED from 1/09-1/20/08
    > 3) He foolishly switched domains and entered under disguised headers,
    > multiple S/Ns, and even impersonations of me which were quickly
    > spotted, DEFEATED 1/20-1/24
    > 4) He started a renew campaign on 1/25/08, hoping to bridge a 400-500
    > post gap, STILL DEFEATED
    > 5) His last failed attempt came today by messing with the NG- TOTAL
    > DEFEAT AS I ACHIEVED ALL-TIME NUMBER ONE STATUS LAST POST
    >
    > I want to thank the idiot for two things:
    >
    > 1) Accomplishing MY GOAL of bumping Dan down to 5th place this month
    > and...
    > 2) Helping me achieve MY GOAL of All-Time poster at RAM
    >
    > Had he NOT trolled here, I would not have been able to do either.
    >
    > Thank you so much for being the Fjukktard, Fjukkwit, Fjukkwad, loser
    > pilot troll that you are.
    >
    > And to reward you, you can post as much as you want now that I have
    > achieved my ultimate goal here and no longer need to post anything.
    > You will, of course, be talking to yourself since everyone else
    > Killfiled you and I will no longer be feeding you, pig-boi. Also, I
    > have you BEATEN further by the post gap. Now, you can try to beat 400+
    > posts in under 36 hrs, but I don't think you will make it
    > mathematically! Even if you do, you only bump me to second and who
    > cares, frankly?
    >
    > You can't touch the All-Time list. You can't even make bottom for
    > several months and if you try to bump me there fat-assed loser... it
    > will take you into the 9th month @ 1,000 posts/mo. If you do this and
    > I CHALLENGE YOU TO, I effectively waste your miserable life and you
    > follow MY COMMANDS dumbass.
    >
    > I am now moving on after 10 full years at RAM knowing that my material
    > in the Archive cannot be touched by you either :)
    >
    > I have a new S/N, operating system to install, newsreader, ISP, AND a
    > new NG to join. I DARE YOU to try and find me. Be sure I will educate
    > the residents there about how to defeat you like I did. But since they
    > have thousands of posters, you might fail there anyway. From your
    > internet record, you are a scumbag that only really affects emotional
    > women and take pleasure from impersonating old men. How low CAN a
    > piece of human feces go???
    >
    > You lost Bertie, so you can call me Sir Guy de Guy from the Tv show-
    > the ENEMY fox of the Bunyip.
    >
    > And if you are going for the Aboriginal meaning of demon creature that
    > spreads infections and disease... well, they can be cured with
    > powerful medicine.
    >
    > Consider me the cure.
    >
    > YOUR ONLINE REPUTATION IS TARNISHED NOW.



    I'm so ashamed.


    Bertie
     
  15. Tim Bruening

    Tim Bruening Guest

    1608 years since 1/30/900.
     
  16. Tim Bruening

    Tim Bruening Guest

    Vampires really hate doing crossword puzzles, since they get burns
    whenever they try to write words in the crosses.

    They also hate crosswinds and crossroads for similar reasons.
     
  17. Tim Bruening

    Tim Bruening Guest

    RC: Ocean of rear ends or donkeys.

    Pumpkin: Children of the well.

    Turkey: Opens a Turlock.
     
  18. Tim Bruening

    Tim Bruening Guest

    Archeolo-G

    Biolo-G

    Clin-G

    Din-G

    Dod-G

    Ed-G

    G-eolo-G

    G-eothermal.

    Genealo-G

    G-eode

    Gerontolo-G

    G-eometer.

    G-eometry.

    G-eodesy.

    KGB

    Or-G

    Prodi-G.

    Sto-G

    Tan-G

    Trilo-G

    U-lo-G
     
  19. Tim Bruening

    Tim Bruening Guest

    Demerit: Demon that takes off points.

    Demise: Dead demon.

    Demolish: Demons that D-stroy buildings.

    Demote: A water barrier around a demon castle.

    Demote: Demon that reduces people in rank.
     
  20. Tim Bruening

    Tim Bruening Guest

    nemo wrote:

    > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
    > news:42033E33.28B8F45B@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
    > >
    > >
    > > nemo wrote:
    > >
    > > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
    > > > news:420091FB.A58DF784@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > > nemo wrote:
    > > > >
    > > > > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
    > > > > > news:41FDFC9A.207A7B8C@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
    > > > > > > Bull Pen: Jail for male cows.
    > > > > > >
    > > > > > > Bull Pen: What male cows use to write with.
    > > > > > >
    > > > > > > Cities: Teas drunk by sit down strikers.
    > > > > > >
    > > > > > > Slutty: Tea drunk by prostitutes.
    > > > > > >
    > > > > > > Smutty: Tea drunk by pornographic dogs.
    > > > > > >
    > > > > > All dogs are pornographic. They do it anywhere they like!
    > > > > >
    > > > > > Shitty: Staring-point in golf with a cow-pat all over it.
    > > > >
    > > > > Star Ring: Another name for the Stargate.
    > > > >
    > > > Still haven't found out why the native chief thought the chocolate bar
    > > > tasted like bunny wee!
    > > >
    > > > And how come the Pharoah or whatever was surrounded by all those
    > > > scantily-clad kids? Was he related to Michael Jackson?

    > >
    > > What are the answers to those questions?
    > >

    > They are the statements of expanation which need to be made in reply to
    > them.


    Please supply those statements.
     

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