15 December Puns

75 days since June 25.

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:48A512D9.89D8587@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
> nemo wrote:
>
> > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:42296AEC.D19632F5@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >
> > > "nemo" <nemo@naughtylust.wet> wrote in message
> > > news:<B5rWc.270897$a8.238664@fe2.news.blueyonder.co.uk>...
> > > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > news:4129AFC7.F6E073B5@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > Sheila Dundee wrote:
> > > > >
> > > > > > J. A. Mc. wrote:
> > > > > > > On Mon, 5 Jan 2004 17:22:24 +1030, "Sheila Dundee"
> > > > > > > <CorKa@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> found these unused words
> floating
> > > about:
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > >> Kathy wrote:
> > > > > > >>> "nemo" <nemo@naughtylass2.wet> wrote in message
> > > > > > >>> news:si_Jb.309341$Y72.81374@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk...
> > > > > > >>>> Sung by a couple of pimps who run a group of girls
> working at
> > > the
> > > > > > >>>> top the the Telecomm Tower:
> > > > > > >>>>
> > > > > > >>>> "High ho! High ho! It's off to work we go . . . . "
> > > > > > >>>>
> > > > > > >>> Feeling a little flushed, off they go to the johns.
> > > > > > >>
> > > > > > >> I was loose myself yesterday but I hope to pickup today.
> > > > > > >>
> > > > > > > It's about time Tundra some work out of you! <G>
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Icy they have new wipers!
> > > > >
> > > > > Viper: Snakes used to clean wet windshields.
> > > > >
> > > > > Viper: Snake price.
> > > > >
> > > > > Saturn: Car with a ring.
> > > > >
> > > > Viper: Snake price???
> > > >
> > > > Sod it! I've adder nough!
> > >
> > > Subtract: A political document (such as the Communist Manifesto)
> under
> > > water.
> > >
> > Manny Festo: A guy with a nasty skin condition.
> >
> > Manny Pesto: A guy with a nasty a pine kernel and herb sauce all over
> him.
> >
> > Pine Kernel: A high-ranking Lumberjack.
>
> Manny: Knee of a male adult.

Manny Shinwell: The whole lower leg of a British politician.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manny_Shinwell

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:48A51346.6DEEB26@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
>
> nemo wrote:
>
> > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:4253589E.AE640C0C@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >
> > >
> > > nemo wrote:
> > >
> > > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > news:425244B2.31775DB2@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > nemo wrote:
> > > > >
> > > > > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
>
> > > > > > news:424E6046.A49B075B@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > shelly <scouvrette@bluemarble.net> wrote in message
> > > > > > >
> news:<Pine.BSF.4.56.0410140948050.58891@tesla.bluemarble.net>...
> > > > > > > > on 2004-10-14 at 05:05 <vijaynats@yahoo.com> wrote:
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > >It's my pleasure to stretch it longer!
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > won't *somebody* think of the kittens?
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Kitten: The 10th do it yourself package.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > You can trip over these if you go out on a moggie day!
> > > > >
> > > > > Tool Kit: Cat that carries tools.
> > > > >
> > > > Most workmen use belts made of saddle-leather these days. They
> think
> > having
> > > > all those various tools at the ready in the proximity of their
> wedding
> > > > tackle makes 'em look dead butch, ducky!
> > >
> > > Proximity: Glove near by.
> > >
> > Proximity Fuse: Glove exploding nearby. (Swunword.)
>
> Primitive: Low tech glove.

Trembler fuse: Bomb setter-offer that's just as scared as the bomb disposal
expert!

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:48A513AE.42ADDC66@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
> "J. A. Mc." wrote:
>
> > On Fri, 5 Nov 2004 20:42:48 -0000, "Raphael Kearns"
> > <raphael@kearns.fsnet.co.uk> found these unused words floating about:
> >
> > >
> > >"nemo" <nemo@naughtylust.wet> wrote in message
> > >news:yPQid.35936$Bk6.13578@fe2.news.blueyonder.co.uk...
> > >>
> > >> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > >> news:4189BB3B.3A410D4B@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >>> Packed Audience: Lots of suitcases in the auditorium.
> > >>
> > >>
> > >> Auditorium: Place where Conservatives keep their Audinary cars.
> > >>
> > >>For those of us who cant Afford them
> > >
> > Haven't you Benz working?
>
> Working: King of labor.

Noooo. That's Arthur Scargill! And it's laboUr!

 

165 days to February 20.

 

220 days to April 16.

 

230 days since January 22.

 

Autogiro: A spinning car.

Automatic: A tic that infests car rugs.

Autonomy: An independent car.

Carnivore: A meat eating car.

Carpet: What cars like to rub.

 

"Vanilla Gorilla (Monkey Boy)" wrote:

On Mon, 7 Mar 2005 08:50:10 -0700, "Mos" <Not@YourHouse> wrote in
alt.tasteless.jokes in message <XtqdnSZei_as5bHfRVn-rQ@pcisys.net>:

>> "A Fried Chicken in Every Pot, And Some Damned Biscuits,
>> Too!" --
>
>Piss on the biscuits, I want some of those big fries.

Bah! Fries are a last resort. Onion rings, or even red beans and
rice will kick fries into next week.

Red Beans: Communist veggies.

 

135 days to January 23.

 

200 days since February 23.

 

65 days since 7/7.

 

Buffy: Price of slaying vampires in the nude.

Razor: Knight of shaving.

Laser: Knight of light beams.

Target: Get more tar!

 

nemo wrote:

> "Douglas D. Anderson" <dda@rr.rochester.com> wrote in message
> news:X6Zhf.64012$JQ.2744@twister.nyroc.rr.com...
> > Tim Bruening wrote:
> > > nemo wrote:
> > >
> > >
> > >>Buffalo Chilkat <mammal@watering.hole> wrote in message
> > >>news:rsssqvgc6rpdv08kegbu24nrgtirre0jf2@4ax.com...
> > >>
> > >>>College of Marine Biology - schools of fish!
> > >>
> > >>Ditto for Cetaceans: University of Wales.
> > >
> > >
> > > Bewail: Very large bee that swims in the sea, along with Puff, the

> > > Maaagic Draaagon.
> >
> > Then there was the ill treated British soldier, called
> > "Poof, the unmanly dragoon".
>
> There was another one who used to get drunk on pomegranate liqueur. He
was a
> member of the Grenadine Guards.

VJ Day: A day to celebrate blood sucking blue birds.

 

Harry Farkas wrote:

> Aquavit: Swim fins
>
> Brandy: Right between Brand C and Brand E
>
> Cognac: prisoner talk
>
> Drunk: De step on de ladder
>
> Ecstasy: Cannibal commenting on a former spouse
>
> Sobriquet: A very small non-drinker
>
> Everybody needs something to believe in. I believe in you now.

I NV U.

 

Sounding: A well made bell.

Stepping: Bell on the stairs.

Stopping: Bell that stays still.

Trapping: Bell that captures animals.

Treating: Bell at Halloween.

 

55 days since Nicaraguan Revolution Day on July 19.

 

On Sun, 14 Sep 2008 02:05:30 -0400, AtlantaWanker <root@192.168.0.1> wrote:


>so<COCK SLAP>

G ot A ids Y et?

http://www.kookpedia.net/index.php/Mop_Jockey

Frances Cress Welsing (black psychiatrist) -- "White male homosexuality
may be viewed as the symbolic attempt to incorporate into the white male
body more male substance by either sucking the penis of another male and
orally ingesting the semen, or by having male ejaculate deposited in the
other end of the alimentary canal. Through anal intercourse, the
self-debasing white male may fantasize that he can produce a product of
color, albeit that the product of color is fecal matter." [Frances Cress
Welsing, The Isis Papers: The Keys to the Colors, Third World Press,
1991, p. 47]


,-------. /
,' `. ,--'
,' `. ,-;-- _.-
/ \ ---;-' _.=.---''
+-------------+ ; X X ---=-----'' _.-------
| ----- |--| \-----=---:i-
+XX|'i:'''''''' : ;`--._ ''---':----
/X+-) \ \ / / ''--._ `-
..XXX|) `. `. ,' ,' ''---.
X\/) `. '---' ,' `-
\ `---+---'
\ |
\. | Mop Jockey
`-------------------+

Come on Bobbie, DO IT! http://tinyurl.com/2voc22

________________________________________________________________

Robert "Mop Jockey" Wolfe

Golden Killfile, June 2005

Kook of the Month, November 2006

Office of AUK Mascot, from 09/07 through 05/08

Tony Sidaway Memorial "Drama Queen" Award, November 2006

Bob Allisat Memorial Hook, Line & Sinker, November 2006

Special Ops Cody Memorial Purple Heart, November 2006

Roberta "Mop Jockey" Wolfe, trained by Daedalus

Kook Chess Set, Blue King's Bishop's Pawn

Barbara Woodhouse Memorial Dog Whistle

Order of the Holey Sockpuppet

Busted Urinal Award

Tinfoil Sombrero
________________________________________________________________

 

Halting: Bell that stops.

Heaping: Pile of male bells.

Hefting: A bell that lifts heavy weights.

Hosing: Singing hooker.

Hooting: Singing owl.

 

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4157C19D.359B85BF@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > Larry Krzewinski wrote:
> >
> > > On Sun, 14 Mar 2004 18:10:32 -0700, "MosZibby" <Naked@YourHouse>
> > > wrote:
> > >
> > > >Larry Krzewinski wrote: A humourous joke.
> > > >
> > > >Mos asks: Can we really do that here?
> > >
> > > It's against the bylaws and counts as ten demerits but who the heck is
> > > gonna enforce it?
> >
> > Chattering: Ring that talks as much as the donkey on Shrek.
>
> Verbose: Hi-Fi that talks too much.
>
> http://www.bose.com/
>
> (It's crap, actually.)

Verbal: Male bovine that talks like the Shrek donkey.