15 December Puns

http://literalbarrage.org/blog/wp-content/cunningplan.jpg

 

20 days to Columbus Day on October 12.

 

25 days to October 17.

 

25 days ago was the 45th anniversary of Martin Luther King's famous "I
Have A Dream" speech in which he articulated his dream of a nation
where people would be judged on their character, not on their skin
color. Now the dream is finally coming into focus with the historic
candidacy of Barack Obama!

 

Ringing flowers: Bells of Ireland, Bella Casa, and Bella Donna.

Flowers loved by astronomers: Stargazer Lilies, Aster Novii, and
Sunflowers.

Gambling flower: Monte casino.

Flying flowers: Birds of Paradise, Parrot Tulips, and Larkspur.

Crab Apple: Underwater fruit.

Serenity: A peaceful knight.

 

Hammock: Fake pig.

Buttonwoods: Used to put together tree clothes.

License: Fibbing pennies.

Amazing: One singing corn cob.

 

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:41EE5CC6.7E4DE607@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > Bucker: $1 dog.
> >
> > Convertible: Bull that changes.
> >
> > Convertable: Table that changes.
> >
> > Currency: Ocean of money.
> >
> > Euro: Not my row.
>
> It's ours though!
>
> Common Market: All the stallholders are Cockneys.

Including a Common Tator?

 

"J. A. Mc." wrote:

> On 05 May 2004 11:32:51 GMT, Dr Tormento <reply@togroup.com> found
these
> unused words floating about:
>
> >"Jenni Saqua" <mara326@awol.com> wrote in
> >news:409846f7$0$28708$d368eab@news.calweb.com:
> >
> >> "J. A. Mc." wrote ...
> >>> On 04 May Dr Tormento originally found these
> >>> unused words floating about:
> >>>
> >>> >Today is National Star Wars Day.
> >>> >
> >>> >May the 4th be with you!
> >>>
> >>> Oh be wanken Obie!
> >>>
> >> Hey, he did a good jabba that one...bet ya had to chewbacca bunch
of
> >> retorts to hit that one.
> >
> > Never a darth of wit from Jeni.
>
> Vader go Jenni ...

Have you ever been to a Maul?

 

Kathy wrote:

> "Michael Balarama" <mbalar@ev1.net> wrote in message
> news:vod83qgqt1dc2e@corp.supernews.com...
> >
> > "Hauke Reddmann" <fc3a501@uni-hamburg.de> wrote in message
> > news:bm5q9i$a0s$1@rzsun03.rrz.uni-hamburg.de...
> > > Nehmo Sergheyev <nehmo54@hotmail.com> wrote:
> > > > I just went to a pun site made by a female, who, for obvious reasons,
> I
> > > > won't name. Everything there is pretty normal, but at the bottom of
> one
> > > > page is a button offering to show us her "Submission Form". I *didn't*
> > > > press on it because how she does that shouldn't be on the web and _I_
> > > > refuse to look at such an obscenity!
> > >
> > > Good that I didn't tell you about the cuneiform.
> >
> > I heard she uses a similar saying as Arnold uses-I"ll be on my back.
> > >
> They say she and several other ladies formed a lumbar company.

Submission Form: Form you fill out to go to a church in the deep blue
sea.

Master: A spinning congregation.

 

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4189B2E8.C81764DB@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > "Frank A. Rosenbaum" wrote:
> >
> > > "Michael Balarama" <mbalar@ev1.net> wrote in message
> > > news:10ktmibb1ahmgc8@corp.supernews.com...
> > > > at church two people from the electric company sat next to me..was a
> > > > shocking experience...nearly blew a fuse.
> > >
> > > I presume that they volted as soon as the service was over and went ohm.
> >
> > Re-Volt!
>
> Electrician called Stanislav: Pole Volt.

Pole Volt: Electric Santa Claus.

 

Mos wrote:

> Larry Krzewinski wrote:
> > On 3 Nov 2004 13:03:06 -0600, "Milton J. Smuthworthy, I"
> > <tonworthyCLOTHES@SexMagnet.com> wrote:
> >
> >>>>>>>>> Alan, where have you been hiding? You haven't posted much
> >>>>>>>>> lately.
> >>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>> Living the life that I do have outside Usenet. You should
look
> >>>>>>>> for one, too.
> >>>>>>>
> >>>>>>> Don't mention your life outside of Usenet! Last time all the
> >>>>>>> rocking, howling and head-banging almost tipped the bus over!
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>> Yeah. I still have a headache from it.
> >>>>>
> >>>>> Be glad the bus was short. If it had been a long
> >>>>> bus, the bonk on the head would make the ache
> >>>>> last longer.
> >>>>
> >>>> Is that the long and the short of it? I mean about Larry?
> >>>
> >>> He should be along shortly to comment on the
> >>> size of things.
> >>
> >> You can size him up, and not report your findings.
> >
> > Wait a minute!!! Don't you go volunteering me, Milt!
>
> And why not ? Seems you often volunteer me
> for lots of things and I ain't in your army.

Arming: Our Chinese vase with weapons.

 

"Frank A. Rosenbaum" wrote:

> "J. A. Mc." <jaSPAMc@gbr.online.com> wrote in message
> news:150jo0hcch6u84oih3d07nk912ob30iopi@4ax.com...
> > On Wed, 3 Nov 2004 16:51:22 -0500, "Frank A. Rosenbaum"
> > <farosenbaum@charter.net> found these unused words floating about:
> >
> >>
> >>"Greg Evans" <misterx@larkbooks.com> wrote in message
> >>news:2usr9fF2eop8pU1@uni-berlin.de...
> >>> J. A. Mc. wrote:
> >>>> On Wed, 3 Nov 2004 06:30:51 -0500, "Frank A. Rosenbaum"
> >>>>> "Milton J. Smuthworthy, I" <tonworthyCLOTHES@SexMagnet.com>
wrote in
> >>>>>> Then "Frank A. Rosenbaum" says:
> >>>>>>> "Greg Evans" <misterx@larkbooks.com> wrote in message
> >>>>>>> news:2unehsF29b8ksU1@uni-berlin.de...
> >>>>>>>> Frank A. Rosenbaum wrote:
> >>>>>>>>> "nemo" <nemo@naughtylust.wet> wrote in message
> >>>>>>>>>> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in
message
> >>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>>>> Why did the man take a pencil to bed?
> >>>>>>>>>>> To draw the curtains.
> >>>>>>>>>> If he had though himself to actually be the curtains, he
should
> >>>>>>>>>> have pulled himself together!
> >>>>>>>>> He did, but he draped himself over the bed. By the way, the
mans
> >>>>>>>>> name is Rod.
> >>>>>>>> Did it comforter him to do that, or was it a result of some
sort
> >>>>>>>> of ambi-valence about his purpose in life?
> >>>>>>> Well, Sheet, Greg, Ya gotta ask Rod. I was blind when he did
it.
> >>>>>>> Don't forget to take your pill, Oh, also don't forget your
inhaler
> >>>>>>> either.
> >>>>>> Do you two have a room? I'm hearing shades of a one nightstand.

> >>>>> No, we don't. He wanted to roller in the hay, but I told him
that I
> >>>>> wasn't pulled that way.
> >>>>
> >>>> You prefer feathers ... ???
> >>>
> >>> Not sure I'm willing to take that thought any feather.... Call it
a
> >>> draw?
> >>
> >>If you want to feather bed, go ahead. I don't give a flock.
> >>
> >>"Birds of a flock, feather together".
> >>
> > What goose down here ... <G>
>
> When my family moved to Michigan, we were Michibeginners. Then there
are
> Michiganders, Michigeese, and Michigoslings.

Begun: Projectile weapon used by an apine.

Beagle: Sea bird that buzzes and makes honey.

 

110 days to January 11.

 

Hmm, the brat doesn't look too happy, perhaps suicide is the aim of his
plan, if so, the plan smacks of brilliance!!

 

"Carl" <me@theworld.universe> wrote in news:ReOdnfTr6J-
fXEXVnZ2dnUVZ8q7inZ2d@bt.com:

> Hmm, the brat doesn't look too happy, perhaps suicide is the aim of his
> plan, if so, the plan smacks of brilliance!!
>

Maxie is a genius! How coudl I have missed it?


Bertie

 

"Milton J. Smuthworthy, I" wrote:

> So then "nemo" <nemo@naughtylass.wet> said:
> >> So then Larry Krzewinski <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> said:
> >> >On Sat, 29 May 2004 10:55:08 -0600, "Mos" <Not@YourHouse> wrote:
> >
> >> >>>>>>> Yo, rampage.
> >> >>>>>> Yo, back.
> >> >>>>> Yoplait.
> >> >>>> Yo, Gert!
> >> >>> Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.
> >> >>If anybody makes that tired joke about being a
> >> >>pirate and buccaneers, I will marry into their family.
> >> >Arrgh. Have ye heard about the price o' corn lately? It's up to a...
> >> Aye, it's piracy on the high seeds!
> >
> >If they sold it at exorbitant prices in Bond Street just coz upper class
> >twits shop in there, it'd be Daylight Snobbery!
>
> If the prices get to exorbitant, those old biddies might use their
> purses as weapons and commit Hi-Pay Clobbery!

Exorbitant: A space ant returned to Earth.

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:48D8910D.4FCA6762@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
>
> nemo wrote:
>
> > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:41EE5CC6.7E4DE607@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >
> > > Bucker: $1 dog.
> > >
> > > Convertible: Bull that changes.
> > >
> > > Convertable: Table that changes.
> > >
> > > Currency: Ocean of money.
> > >
> > > Euro: Not my row.
> >
> > It's ours though!
> >
> > Common Market: All the stallholders are Cockneys.
>
> Including a Common Tator?

Nope, but the stalls sell common taters - whites etc., and posh ones who
make prawnographic films - Desir?e, and royal ones too - King Edwards. Oh
yes - and spuds that play the flute - Maris Pipers.

And there's a news-vendor who sells the evening pipers as well.

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:48CD66ED.E4F59B3@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
> nemo wrote:
>
> > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:4157C19D.359B85BF@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >
> > >
> > > Larry Krzewinski wrote:
> > >
> > > > On Sun, 14 Mar 2004 18:10:32 -0700, "MosZibby" <Naked@YourHouse>
> > > > wrote:
> > > >
> > > > >Larry Krzewinski wrote: A humourous joke.
> > > > >
> > > > >Mos asks: Can we really do that here?
> > > >
> > > > It's against the bylaws and counts as ten demerits but who the heck
is
> > > > gonna enforce it?
> > >
> > > Chattering: Ring that talks as much as the donkey on Shrek.
> >
> > Verbose: Hi-Fi that talks too much.
> >
> > http://www.bose.com/
> >
> > (It's crap, actually.)
>
> Verbal: Male bovine that talks like the Shrek donkey.

Or a dreck schtonky?

 

Re: Bertie's baby pictures

"Mick" <#$$#@%%%.^^^> wrote in news:xWNCk.32248$wr1.4993@newsfe02.iad:

>
> Is this you, or some kid you molested?
>
>
>

Nice pic fjukkktard. Did you bother to check if your provider allows
posting of binaries to non-bin froups?


Just another example of your lameness.......





Also, kudos on the molestation lame.



Bertie

 

Re: Bertie's baby pictures

"Mick" <#$$#@%%%.^^^> wrote in news:r8XCk.215$Un6.48@newsfe12.iad:

>
> "Bertie the Bunyip" <BtB@BB.not.aaaaaaa> wrote in message
> news:gbhdgm$bto$1@blackhelicopter.databasix.com...
>| "Mick" <#$$#@%%%.^^^> wrote in news:xWNCk.32248$wr1.4993@newsfe02.iad:
>|
>| >
>| > Is this you, or some kid you molested?
>| >
>| >
>| >
>|
>| Nice pic fjukkktard. Did you bother to check if your provider allows
>| posting of binaries to non-bin froups?
>|
>|
>| Just another example of your lameness.......
>|
>|
>|
>|
>|
>| Also, kudos on the molestation lame.
>|
>|
>|
>| Bertie
>
>
>



Speshul kinda k00k, aintcha?


bertie