15 December Puns

"J. A. Mc." wrote:

> On Tue, 11 Nov 2003 04:38:52 GMT, Buffalo Chilkat
> <mammal@watering.hole> found these unused words floating about:
>
> >On Mon, 10 Nov 2003 18:10:39 GMT, "nemo" <nemo@naughtylass2.wet>
> >wrote:
> >
> >>
> >>Kathy <tnktkachuk3@cogeco.ca> wrote in message
> >>news:Nuyrb.149$Jk.5353@read2.cgocable.net...
> >>>
> >>> "nemo" <nemo@naughtylass2.wet> wrote in message
> >>> newsxvrb.45812$Ou6.9790@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk...
> >>> >
> >>> > HANSTEIS <hansteis@aol.com> wrote in message
> >>> > news:20031108164637.01237.00000400@mb-m11.aol.com...
> >>> > > There's a new cop show that has an unusually high content of
steamy
> >>> > romances
> >>> > > among the detectives--it's called Law and Ardor.
> >>> > >
> >>> > There's also another one about Thames Water's new sewerage
police force.
> >>> Loo
> >>> > and Ordure! (^!^)
> >>> >
> >>> There is also a new cooking show called Lard and Ors d'Oeuvres.
> >>>
> >>Or the one with the Aussie cook who only does chitterlings and
melts: The
> >>Galloping Gooley!
> >>
> >
> >That would give me the trots, I'm afraid.
>
> In the land of Oz, you either hop or crawl, never trot.

Trot Ting: Chinese horse.

 

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4157C106.17EBF416@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Blues Buoy <ashishgandre@gmail.com> wrote in message
> > > news:13697ebc.0407052121.6c436a41@posting.google.com...
> > > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:<40E9104B.F4F18F98@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>...
> > > > > Bob Crowley wrote:
> > > > >
> > > > > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:<40DEC5AA.DA71EA39@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>...
> > > > > > > Concave: Against spelunking.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Content: Against camping.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Contrail: Against hiking.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Contour: Against French bicycle races.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Produce: A supporter of Italian dictator Mussolini.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Protect: Favoring innovation.
> > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > > > bicycle - use twice only
> > > > > >
> > > > > > bipolar - compass with north and south
> > > > > >
> > > > > > binary - 2 canaries
> > > > > >
> > > > > > bimetallic - very heavy metal band
> > > > >
> > > > > Biplane: Bisexual flying machine.
> > > >
> > > > Antimony - Frugalist
> > > >
> > > Beryllium: Interring a guy called Liam.
> > >
> > > Barium: Interring anybody's body!
> > >
> > > Potassium: Favored by stoned donkeys.
> > >
> > > Aluminium: Tasty curried potatoes prepared by Minerva.
> >
> > Helium: Gas that cures.
> >
> > Curium: A transuranic element that cures.
>
> C?sium: Element that grabs hold of yer!
>
> So many elements to choose from, my Cuprum-eth over!

Hydrogen: Gas that gives out greetings.

 

Kathy wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:40580DF3.365F5A3A@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Ebola: A nasty computer virus.
> >
> > Ebola: When computers bowl.
> >
> > Emote: A water barrier around a castile that feels your pain.
> >
> > Emote: A very small computer.
> >
> > Emotion: Electronic travel.
> >
> > Emotion: Very moving feelings.
>
> Elapse: Computer hang.
>
> Essential: Erotic pc.
>
> Event: Computer fan.
>
> Evasive: Old pc used to display flowers.
>
> Rambunctious: A memory stick displaying difficult behaviour.

Rambunctious: Male sheep displaying difficult behavior.

Difficult: Religious sect that's hard to get into.

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:48FFF674.95FA33B4@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
> "J. A. Mc." wrote:
>
> > On Tue, 11 Nov 2003 04:38:52 GMT, Buffalo Chilkat
> > <mammal@watering.hole> found these unused words floating about:
> >
> > >On Mon, 10 Nov 2003 18:10:39 GMT, "nemo" <nemo@naughtylass2.wet>
> > >wrote:
> > >
> > >>
> > >>Kathy <tnktkachuk3@cogeco.ca> wrote in message
> > >>news:Nuyrb.149$Jk.5353@read2.cgocable.net...
> > >>>
> > >>> "nemo" <nemo@naughtylass2.wet> wrote in message
> > >>> newsxvrb.45812$Ou6.9790@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk...
> > >>> >
> > >>> > HANSTEIS <hansteis@aol.com> wrote in message
> > >>> > news:20031108164637.01237.00000400@mb-m11.aol.com...
> > >>> > > There's a new cop show that has an unusually high content of
> steamy
> > >>> > romances
> > >>> > > among the detectives--it's called Law and Ardor.
> > >>> > >
> > >>> > There's also another one about Thames Water's new sewerage
> police force.
> > >>> Loo
> > >>> > and Ordure! (^!^)
> > >>> >
> > >>> There is also a new cooking show called Lard and Ors d'Oeuvres.
> > >>>
> > >>Or the one with the Aussie cook who only does chitterlings and
> melts: The
> > >>Galloping Gooley!
> > >>
> > >
> > >That would give me the trots, I'm afraid.
> >
> > In the land of Oz, you either hop or crawl, never trot.
>
> Trot Ting: Chinese horse.

"Any more pferd please?": Uttered by the conductor of a German bus for
horses.

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:48FFF6FB.9EB91E39@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
> nemo wrote:
>
> > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:4157C106.17EBF416@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >
> > >
> > > nemo wrote:
> > >
> > > > Blues Buoy <ashishgandre@gmail.com> wrote in message
> > > > news:13697ebc.0407052121.6c436a41@posting.google.com...
> > > > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > news:<40E9104B.F4F18F98@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>...
> > > > > > Bob Crowley wrote:
> > > > > >
> > > > > > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > news:<40DEC5AA.DA71EA39@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>...
> > > > > > > > Concave: Against spelunking.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > Content: Against camping.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > Contrail: Against hiking.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > Contour: Against French bicycle races.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > Produce: A supporter of Italian dictator Mussolini.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > Protect: Favoring innovation.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > bicycle - use twice only
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > bipolar - compass with north and south
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > binary - 2 canaries
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > bimetallic - very heavy metal band
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Biplane: Bisexual flying machine.
> > > > >
> > > > > Antimony - Frugalist
> > > > >
> > > > Beryllium: Interring a guy called Liam.
> > > >
> > > > Barium: Interring anybody's body!
> > > >
> > > > Potassium: Favored by stoned donkeys.
> > > >
> > > > Aluminium: Tasty curried potatoes prepared by Minerva.
> > >
> > > Helium: Gas that cures.
> > >
> > > Curium: A transuranic element that cures.
> >
> > C?sium: Element that grabs hold of yer!
> >
> > So many elements to choose from, my Cuprum-eth over!
>
> Hydrogen: Gas that gives out greetings.

Nitrogen: Gas that gives out information after dark.

http://www.askoxford.com/concise_oed/gen?view=uk

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:48FFF5C4.2AE2A262@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
>
> nemo wrote:
>
> > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:457E800D.27A41816@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >
> > >
> > > nemo wrote:
> > >
> > > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > news:439939BF.203F6D97@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > Paralyze: Two fibs.
> > > > >
> > > > > Parboil: Golf course at 212 F, or 100 C.
> > > > >
> > > > > Parcel: Jail on the golf course.
> > > > >
> > > > > Pardon: Mafia boss on the golf course.
> > > > >
> > > > > Paring: Ring or music on the golf course.
> > > >
> > > > Faring: Bicycle bell on a motorbike.
> > >
> > > Categori Cal: Man good at sorting.
> > >
> >
> > Me this time last year when I did three weeks as a 'Christmas Casual'
> > sorting letters for Royal Mail.
> >
> > Trouble was, the terrible upper back-pain I was suffering that moved
around
> > to the front sometimes turned out to be Angina! - so now I got one of
those
> > nitro-glycerine sprays that gives you a headache. They're well on the
way to
> > sorting it out though.
> >
> > I've just had a nuclear scan. (I don't think they found any WMDs) and
after
> > a short stent in hospital it'll soon be fixed.
>
> Did they find any Polonium 210 from that radioactive spy?

Dunno about that but the Stressed Nuclear Confusion Scan at the Heart
Hospital - again one of the finest in the world and to us it's free - showed
my coronary arteries were perfect, so the pain had to be Oesophageal Spasm.
(Gullet cramp) Quite a relief. Just as painful but harmless. The same GTN
spray alleviates it though. It just takes a few minutes rather than working
instantly. I still carry one.

Polonium 210?? Isn't that what they use to poison useless upper-class-twits
who spend their time galloping around on horses trying to hit a little ball
with dirty great long wooden mallets?

 

185 days to April 30.

 

50 days since September 7.

 

45 days to December 11.

 

350 days since November 12.

 

320 days since Poinsettia Day on December 12.

 

280 days to August 3.

 

30 days since September 27.

 

225 days since March 16.

 

250 days since February 20.

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:48E21E26.E76989EE@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
>
> "Douglas D. Anderson" wrote:
>
> > nemo wrote:
> > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:442F3F48.D9EEB15D@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >
> > >>Larry Krzewinski wrote:
> > >>
> > >>
> > >>>On Sat, 08 May 2004 03:36:25 +0100, Dougal
<bigron@klanmeetings.co.uk>
> > >>>wrote:
> > >>>
> > >>>
> > >>>>>>>>>I didn't want you to feel alone and abandoned.
> > >>>>>>>>
> > >>>>>>>>I'm not one of your cars Greg.
> > >>>>>>>
> > >>>>>>>Oh no no no, those cars aren't abandoned; they're *restin'*!
> > >>>>>>>Greg
> > >>>>>>>pinin' for the Fords
> > >>>>>>
> > >>>>>>Gerald and Betty?
> > >>>>>
> > >>>>>Model A and T.
> > >>>>
> > >>>>You can only get that in black.
> > >>>
> > >>>When asked what colors the Model T would be available in Henry Ford
> > >>>said "The Customer Can Have Any Color He Wants So Long As It's
Black".
> > >>
> > >>Afroamerican cars?
> > >>
> > >
> > > What's a froam? Hyphen needed there I think. It had one when the word
was
> > > first coined!
> > >
> > > Darpht langwidjje, Enginche!
> > >
> > >
> > How different things would be if Harold had defeated William...
> > Isn't it time England got even and invaded Normandy?
>
> Normandy: French demon.
>
> Didn't England do just that on June 6, 1944?

Yers Richard Todd and Richard Burton a bully assisted by John Wayne, Robert
Mitcham etc.

In the film The Longest Day, have you noticed in scene one how still the Ike
lookalike actor holds his face dead still. I wonder if he was having trouble
holding Ike's slightly slanted smile.

Overall, he did a good job though.

 

270 days since Ash Wednesday on February 6.

 

55 days since September 8.

 

155 days to April 6.