15 December Puns

65 days to April 30.

 

nemo wrote:

> "Douglas D. Anderson" <dda@rr.rochester.com> wrote in message
> news:7d0Ae.20908$e%5.11232@twister.nyroc.rr.com...
> >
> > "nemo" <nemo@newtylust.nit> wrote
> > > "Douglas D. Anderson" <dda@rr.rochester.com> wrote in message
> > > news:csSze.17310$e%5.1927@twister.nyroc.rr.com...
> > > >
> > > > "nemo" <nemo@newtylust.nit> wrote
> > > > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote
> > > > > > AG Day: A day to celebrate Attorneys General, Anti-Gravity,
and
> > > > > > Dictionaries, (since the Library of Congress uses AG for
> > > dictionaries).
> > > > >
> > > > > Or we all have horseradish instead and celebrate Anti-Gravy
day!
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > James AG: American author, poet. Co-authored screenplay of "The
> African
> > > Queen",
> > > > unfortunately Richard Catto was not yet available for the role,
so a
> boat
> > > was used.
> > > >
> > > The S.A. poofter or the fortune teller? There's a lot of them on
> Google -
> > > and quite a few lying doggo as well!
> > >
> > > Damned good film that. I wish they'd show it again.
> > >
> > > In my local supermarket, they keep the horseradish on the very top

> shelf, so
> > > you have to khrain your neck to see if there's any left!
> > >
> > There's a quarry with a rock crusher nearby where a stone of gravel
may
> > be had for a few coigns.
> >
> Run by a retired Keystone Cop?

Keystone: A Rocky.

 

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4403AFBC.BE5D87A0@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:414142D5.C36AA267@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > David Simpson wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > On Thu, 04 Mar 2004 18:53:41 -0500, Arno Martens
> > > > > <snetram@sympatico.ca> typed furiously:
> > > > >
> > > > > [nothing ... again and again and again]
> > > > >
> > > > > How boring. PLINK.
> > > >
> > > > Plonker: A dog killfile.
> > >
> > > Ploncurr: To agree that someone should be killfiled.
> >
> > Curtis: A dog roofing company.
> >
>
> Who wants a roof covered in dogs?

A dog house.

 

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4222FBE2.EC3EB68D@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > Sheila Dundee wrote:
> >
> > Jenni Saqua wrote:
> > > "Sheila Dundee" <CorKa@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> wrote in message
> > > news:4028cbd0$0$19705$afc38c87@news.optusnet.com.au...
> > >> Dr Tormento wrote:
> > >>> "Sheila Dundee" <CorKa@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> wrote in
> > >>> news:4028bd3b$0$18303$afc38c87@news.optusnet.com.au:
> > >>>
> > >>>> Pollywolly wrote:
> > >>>>> Sheila Dundee wrote:
> > >>>>>> Pollywolly wrote:
> > >>>>>>> Dr Tormento wrote:
> > >>>>>>>> Marmoset <marmoset@yahoo.com> wrote in
> > >>>>>>>> news:Xns9489E2412B0Emarmosetyahoocom@216.196.97.131:
> > >>>>>>>>
> > >>>>>>>>> My girlfriend found a new pencil store
> > >>>>>>>>>
> > >>>>>>>>> She lead me right to it
> > >>>>>>>>
> > >>>>>>>> I don't see the point.
> > >>>>>>>
> > >>>>>>> It was meant 2B'
>
> 2B or not 2B? That is the queston!
>
> > >>>>>>
> > >>>>>> You are very blunt :-(
> > >>>>>
> > >>>>> I'm not here to get in a graphite.
> > >>>>
> > >>>> Well, don't crayon MY shoulder!
> > >>>
> > >>> Now, now, don't go off the depenned.
> > >>
> > >> Well - just listen to His Nibs !!
> > >>
> > > I would but there've been some ink credible shrinking posts
> > (like
> > > Dr T's) which are showing up only via your replies!
> >
> > Those of us at the sharpen can't de-scribe how irritating that can be!
> >
> > Sharpen: Pointy writing instrument.
> >
> > Pointy: Sharp tea.
>
> What pratt first thought of saying pointy for pointed and what would be a
> suitable punishment for him?
>
> A drunken demon: An Imp Aler?

Or a D.UI?

 

Nathaniel Lind wrote:

> "nemo" <nemo@newtylust.nit> wrote in message
> news:sB3de.13242$j54.9558@fe3.news.blueyonder.co.uk...
> >
> > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:4271AFE6.BC011D5A@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >>
> >> Subclass: What happens inside a school of fish.
> >>
> >> Sublight: A type of underwater beer.
> >>
> >> Sublight: Submarine that weighs little.
> >
> > Submariners will tell you off something rotten for calling it a sub!
>
> >
> > Submarinade: A lot of submarines all going off at once, or a
> seasoned
> > mixture of vinegar, wine and oil used for soaking foods in the
> galley.
>
> Sublime- a fruit enjoyed in submarines

Miticide: To murder a glove.

 

12 days since President's Day.

 

20 days to Spring in the North and Fall in the South.

 

55 days since the New Hampshire Primary.

 

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:44964228.ADC28156@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:433CE2E3.86D3AD18@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > > nemo wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > > news:4191BC15.6614C46A@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > > > nemo wrote:
> > > > > >
> > > > > > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > > > > news:4189B8DA.ED53986E@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > nemo wrote:
> > > > >
> > > > > I did write "Identity Cards" only some twit's snipped 'em.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > On the news today - everyone will have one in ten years'
> time.
> > > >
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > Sabrina fans started whaling and gnashing their teeth and
> > > > throwing
> > > > > > > > > themselves off buildings and under buses because they
> > > > mis-heard.
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > They thought they were going to be Hide-dem-titty Cards!!!
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > Identity: Tea that makes you reveal your true name.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Identity: A woman with tall teeth and large breasts.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Anonymity: Tea that hides your name.
> > > > > >
> > > > > Anonymouse: Rodent that hides its name.
> > > > >
> > > > > Bigamouse: Rat.
> > > >
> > > > Pirex: 3.1415926 Kings.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > Piewrecks: One of the results of employing a terrible cook.
> >
> > T-Rexs: Result of defective brewer.
>
> TREX: The lives of people with Coronary Heart Disease from using too much
> saturated cooking fat!
>
> http://www.pura.co.uk/speciality.asp
>
> Even now it's made from vegetable oils, it's still in a lump and therefore
> saturated, although the ingredients list will say hydrogenated to disguise
> the fact!

False advertising? Time to call the BBB?

BBB: Apines who regulate corporations.

EEE: Capitol of Libya.

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:47CF8AF0.56016E4D@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> nemo wrote:
>
> > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:44964228.ADC28156@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >
> > >
> > > nemo wrote:
> > >
> > > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > news:433CE2E3.86D3AD18@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > >
> > > > > nemo wrote:
> > > > >
> > > > > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > > > news:4191BC15.6614C46A@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > nemo wrote:
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > > > > > news:4189B8DA.ED53986E@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > nemo wrote:
> > > > > >
> > > > > > I did write "Identity Cards" only some twit's snipped 'em.
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > On the news today - everyone will have one in ten years'
> > time.
> > > > >
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > Sabrina fans started whaling and gnashing their teeth
and
> > > > > throwing
> > > > > > > > > > themselves off buildings and under buses because they
> > > > > mis-heard.
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > They thought they were going to be Hide-dem-titty
Cards!!!
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > Identity: Tea that makes you reveal your true name.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > Identity: A woman with tall teeth and large breasts.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Anonymity: Tea that hides your name.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > Anonymouse: Rodent that hides its name.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Bigamouse: Rat.
> > > > >
> > > > > Pirex: 3.1415926 Kings.
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > Piewrecks: One of the results of employing a terrible cook.
> > >
> > > T-Rexs: Result of defective brewer.
> >
> > TREX: The lives of people with Coronary Heart Disease from using too
much
> > saturated cooking fat!
> >
> > http://www.pura.co.uk/speciality.asp
> >
> > Even now it's made from vegetable oils, it's still in a lump and
therefore
> > saturated, although the ingredients list will say hydrogenated to
disguise
> > the fact!
>
> False advertising? Time to call the BBB?
>
> BBB: Apines who regulate corporations.
>
> EEE: Capitol of Libya.

EEE Cedar ZIT: Capital of Lebanon for laid-back spotty people.

 

210 days since Nagasaki Day.

 

90 days since Human Rights Day.

 

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:42C494CB.7F51A3BE@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:408BD9D9.373667E@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Buffalo Chilkat wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > My dog does not like Cage.
> > > >
> > > > Composer: Electronic musical knight.
> > > >
> > > Does he Offenbach?
> >
> > Women should Bee Wear of men who want to get them on their Bach!
>
> Narr. They might just want to feed them tinned spuds: Cantaters!

Rotator: Spinning spud.

 

100 days since World AIDS Day.

 

125 days since Election Day.

 

20 days to Caesar Chavez Day.

 

75 days since the assassination of Benezar Bhutto.

 

70 days since New Year's Day.

 

Dipole: To color a Polish person, or a long cyclinder, or a planetary
axis.

Doling: Baby female deer.

Dopey: Urinating female deer.

Doping: Musical female deer on drugs.

Dozing: Sleeping female deer.

 

130 days since November 4.