The barman says to Paddy, “Your glass is empty, fancy another one?” Looking puzzled, Paddy says, “Why would I be needing two empty feckin’ glasses?”
Billy stops Paddy in Dublin and asks for the quickest way to Cork. Paddy says, “Are you on foot or in the car?” Billy says, “In the car.” Paddy says, “That’s the quickest way.”
Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend, Finney. “Did you see the paper?” asked Gallagher, “They say I died!!” “Yes, I saw it!” replied Finney, “Where are ye callin’ from?”
