Re: 03/04/05 Puns

"Lonnie" <@_#~#@.^net> wrote in news:NSewk.35366$9u1.3988@newsfe09.iad:

>
> "Mike" <nospam@microsoft.com> wrote in message
> news:sAewk.691$393.330@trnddc05...
>> "Lonnie" <@_#~#@.^net> wrote in message
>> news:tpdwk.36988$4s1.11690@newsfe06.iad...
>>>
>>> "Bertie the Bunyip" <AA@AA.AA> wrote in message
>>> news:g9rnci$4pj$2@blackhelicopter.databasix.com...
>>>
>>>>> No it's not Mikey Mouth,
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Good boy, Maxine.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Admitting it wil at least save you from a world of disappointment.
>>>>
>>>> Bertie
>>>
>>> How clever, and Anthony snip!!!!!
>>
>> There was nothing particularly clever about it, Okie. You either
>> admitted you're a pinhead, or you're a subliterate pinhead that
>> didn't understand the context to begin with.
>>
>> Which is it?
>
> I was being facetious, my little pet rock, didn't mean to confuse you.
>

Snort!



You didn't get it and never will, maxie.


Bertie

 

"Mike" <nospam@microsoft.com> wrote in news:Kyfwk.697$393.342@trnddc05:

> "Bertie the Bunyip" <AA@AA.AA> wrote in message
> news:g9rujd$jj9$2@blackhelicopter.databasix.com...
>> "Lonnie" <@_#~#@.^net> wrote in
>> news:NSewk.35366$9u1.3988@newsfe09.iad:
>>
>>>
>>> "Mike" <nospam@microsoft.com> wrote in message
>>> news:sAewk.691$393.330@trnddc05...
>>>> "Lonnie" <@_#~#@.^net> wrote in message
>>>> news:tpdwk.36988$4s1.11690@newsfe06.iad...
>>>>>
>>>>> "Bertie the Bunyip" <AA@AA.AA> wrote in message
>>>>> news:g9rnci$4pj$2@blackhelicopter.databasix.com...
>>>>>
>>>>>>> No it's not Mikey Mouth,
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Good boy, Maxine.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Admitting it wil at least save you from a world of
>>>>>> disappointment.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Bertie
>>>>>
>>>>> How clever, and Anthony snip!!!!!
>>>>
>>>> There was nothing particularly clever about it, Okie. You either
>>>> admitted you're a pinhead, or you're a subliterate pinhead that
>>>> didn't understand the context to begin with.
>>>>
>>>> Which is it?
>>>
>>> I was being facetious, my little pet rock, didn't mean to confuse
>>> you.
>>>
>>
>> Snort!
>>
>>
>>
>> You didn't get it and never will, maxie.
>
> Still it's funny to watch him squirm and change his story.
>
> He sure never gets tired of providing an endless source of
> entertainment. All you have to do is wind him up every now and then.
>

It must warm his little heart to know he has at least something to give
to the world.



Bertie

 

"Lonnie" <@_#~#@.^net> wrote in news:wgiwk.38112$Rs1.18566@newsfe08.iad:

>
> "gatt" <gatt@livefromtheclocktower2008.us> wrote in message
> news:25ou8a.mma.17.1@integratelecom.com...
>>
> We want to
>> talk about aviation and flying, which is what the newsgroup used to be
>> about.
>>
>
> Then what's stopping you?
>
> Start a thread, ignore the useless input, and be happy.
>
> Why has everyone stopped discussing aviation?
>
> Just ignore the kooks until they go away.
>
> Just don't feed them.

Uh, you're the only one here with a bona fide k00k award, fjukkkwit.




Bertie

 

My nephew Noah is 770 days old today.

 

5 days to 9/11.

 

300 days since Veteran's Day on November 11.

 

Harry Farkas wrote:

> "Snicker" <johnnaishwerner@yahoo.com> wrote in message
> news:8e96080a-f7d2-4ed3-bfc4-1558d0ded848@e39g2000hsf.googlegroups.com...
> On Sep 6, 12:51?am, Tim Bruening <tsbru...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote:
> > My nephew Noah is 770 days old today.
>
> One cubed day since yesterday.
>
> [Breaking my rule not to respond to Timmy posts]
>
> And how many cubits is Noah?

You're responding to a Snicker post, not a Timmy post, so your rule remains
unbroken.

 

Haiku: Government overthrow in the Andes.

Pansy: A ocean of cooking utensils.

Spicy: A hot or Chili sea.

 

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:44D1C193.8EB66BFD@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:44CB2746.DA34327D@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > > Apex wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > "Harry Farkas" <hfarkas@wowway.com> wrote in message
> > > > > news:w8-dnSsP7b0ElH-iRVn-tA@wideopenwest.com...
> > > > > > The motivational speaker urged me to forge on, yet he had me

> arrested
> > > when
> > > > > I
> > > > > > did.
> > > > >
> > > > > He wanted to be part of your experimint. It would have been
> centsible to
> > > > > drop him a few notes.
> > > >
> > > > Or give him 1 million male deer (bucks).
> > > >
> > > > Do you fit on the counter?
> > >
> > > Counterfeit: A complaint that shop assistants get from stinging
there
> too
> > > long.
> >
> > Counter Culture: Yeast in the kitchen.
> >
> Unlevon?d bread is better. It doesn't moon at you!

Z Street: Street of zombies.

 

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:44CF00A1.2A68425D@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > "J. A. Mc." wrote:
> >
> > > On 19 Mar 2004 00:18:22 -0800, bagelncreamcheese@hotmail.com (meat n
> > > potatoes) found these unused words floating about:
> > >
> > > >Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:<40580B73.3EFD8719@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>...
> > > >> Damnation: A country of mother deers.
> > > >>
> > > >> Damnation: A country dependent on hydroelectricity.
> > > >
> > > >Fascination.
> > > ... Thailand.
> >
> > Thailand: Neckwear country.
>
> Caused by there being a higher level of cravaty there?

L Street: Has L-Lephants, L-Fishes, and L-Levators.

 

nemo wrote:

> "Milton J. Smuthworthy, I" <tonworthyCLOTHES@SexMagnet.com> wrote in message
> news:424ff217$0$11810$bb4e3ad8@newscene.com...
> >
> > Then "nemo" says:
> > >"Milton J. Smuthworthy, I" <tonworthyCLOTHES@SexMagnet.com> wrote in
> message
> > >news:424f01d7$0$11826$bb4e3ad8@newscene.com...
> > >>
> > >> Then "nemo" says:
> > >>>"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > >>>> KIMEVANS wrote:
> > >>>>
> > >>>>> Q: What did the inflatable school counsellor at Inflatable High
> School
> > >say
> > >>>>> to the inflatable pupil when he took him into his inflatable office
> > >for a lecture??
> > >>>>>
> > >>>>> A: John,your behahiour today has been totally disappointing!!! By
> > >bringing
> > >>>>> that thumbtack into this school you have let not only your friends
> and
> > >>>>> classmates down but you have let the whole SCHOOL down.!!! But most
> > >>>>> importantly, what you are going to have to live with is the fact
> that,
> > >this
> > >>>>> time, you have even let YOURSELF down!!!!!
> > >>>>
> > >>>> John was quite tack-less!
> > >>>>
> > >>>That's why he tripped and broke his neck on his loose carpets. They
> were
> > >>>running around all over the place!
> > >>
> > >> What an off-the-wall-to-wall remark!
> > >
> > >Axminster: To chop down a cathedral that used to be part of a monastery.
> >
> > Axminister: A preacher who get's *very* upset when people sing
> > hymns off-key.
>
> Upminster: A part of the London Borough of Havering and the sort of answer
> your preacher gets when he complains!
>
> Impale: A bucketfull of demons-on-a-sick!

DU: Demon University.

DU: A Uranium Demon.

C4: An explosive ocean.

CO2: Ocean of global warming chemicals.

 

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4191B108.7E8F9C86@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Compeer: Computer colleague.
> >
> > Compel: Charismatic computer.
> >
> > Compete: Computer that likes to race.
> >
> > Competition: Computer political activist.
>
> Compose: A robot standing in a silly way.

Compose: Computer poetry.

 

Zipping: A fast bell.

Renting: Tenant bell.

Wiping: Cleaning bell.

Whipping: Punishing bell.

Slapping: Another punishing bell.

Shipping: Bell on the ocean.

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:48BCD139.F5519D75@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
> nemo wrote:
>
> > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:424E4A33.50C34978@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >
> > > Larry Krzewinski wrote:
> > >
> > > > On Sat, 08 May 2004 03:36:25 +0100, Dougal
> > <bigron@klanmeetings.co.uk>
> > > > wrote:
> > > >
> > > > >>>>>> I didn't want you to feel alone and abandoned.
> > > > >>>>> I'm not one of your cars Greg.
> > > > >>>> Oh no no no, those cars aren't abandoned; they're *restin'*!
> > > > >>>> Greg
> > > > >>>> pinin' for the Fords
> > > > >>>
> > > > >>> Gerald and Betty?
> > > > >>
> > > > >>Model A and T.
> > > > >
> > > > >You can only get that in black.
> > > >
> > > > When asked what colors the Model T would be available in Henry
> > Ford
> > > > said "The Customer Can Have Any Color He Wants So Long As It's
> > Black".
> > >
> > > Afroamerican cars?
> >
> > For f**k sake stop dropping hyphens!!! They're heavy and they keep
> > falling
> > on my head!
>
> Hyphen: A fen in the sky.

Well drag em back out of the sky and put em back into the words they were
lazily left out of, then we won't have so many cows getting orked of barrels
being made by cooper atives!

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:48BCD11C.B9B7486E@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
> nemo wrote:
>
> > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:425244B2.31775DB2@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >
> > >
> > > nemo wrote:
> > >
> > > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > news:424E6046.A49B075B@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > >
> > > > > shelly <scouvrette@bluemarble.net> wrote in message
> > > > > news:<Pine.BSF.4.56.0410140948050.58891@tesla.bluemarble.net>...
> > > > > > on 2004-10-14 at 05:05 <vijaynats@yahoo.com> wrote:
> > > > > >
> > > > > > >It's my pleasure to stretch it longer!
> > > > > >
> > > > > > won't *somebody* think of the kittens?
> > > > >
> > > > > Kitten: The 10th do it yourself package.
> > > >
> > > > You can trip over these if you go out on a moggie day!
> > >
> > > Tool Kit: Cat that carries tools.
> > >
> > Most workmen use belts made of saddle-leather these days. They think
having
> > all those various tools at the ready in the proximity of their wedding
> > tackle makes 'em look dead butch, ducky!
>
> Proximity: Glove near by.
>
> DSL: A demon on the Internet.

Powered by DERV?

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:48C0D696.28AEC171@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
>
> nemo wrote:
>
> > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:441283E6.64C80C0D@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >
> > >
> > > Steve Jacobson wrote:
> > >
> > > > On Tue, 16 Oct 2001 21:08:25 -0400, Deb Hayes
> > > > <troi@spam.spam.spam.spam.spam.spam.baked-beans.spam.and.spam.com>
put
> > together
> > > > some random words that came up with:
> > > >
> > > > >One legbone met the other and said, "What's a nice girl like you
doing
> > > > >in a joint like this?"
> > > > >
> > > > >- justdeb
> > > >
> > > > The tibia got sick one day. It had kneemonia.
> >
> > You want to watch that. A stuck organ stop can ruin your whole
performance!
> >
> > > A broken arm is not humerus.
> >
> > I had kneemonia once - before I even called myself that!
> >
> > After struggling to the doctor's having to hang on to railings walls
etc. to
> > keep on my feet, he said it was flu and sent me home! Luckily, I knew
what
> > to do and got over it OK.
> >
> > He was Doctor Lipman BTW - the utter pratt who took over from dear old
> > Doctor Yale, the best GP in Warren Street, Hampstead Road and the world.
>
> GP: Goblin urine.

Well if that's what you enjoy doing, it's nothing to do with me! 2E Cheese
Zone!

GP = General Practitioner = family doctor - or in the case of Lipman:
General Pratt - titioner!

(This is Lipman Jr BTW. The father wasn't too bad. Forgot to say that. Got
two beef air!)

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:48A5127B.152521C0@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
> nemo wrote:
>
> > <dobeygjrg@yahoo.com> wrote in message
> > news:1103035825.797279.262730@c13g2000cwb.googlegroups.com...
> > >
> > > nemo wrote:
> > > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > news:41BE9D5A.81FB991C@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > "J. A. Mc." wrote:
> > > > >
> > > > > > Q: why does an ocean going river get cold?
> > > > > >
> > > > > > A: because it has a shore throat.
> > > > >
> > > > > Floozy: Ocean with a cold.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Q: Why was the beach wet?
> > > >
> > > > A: Because the sea weed!
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Q: How can you spot a Kosher beach?
> > > >
> > > > A: It has no foreshore.
> > >
> > > What did they say when they found E.T. washed up on the shore?
> > > E.T. no foam home!
> > >
> > The best crack based on that was in some show or other - can't
> remember
> > which - where he picks up a public phone, says "ET phone home" and the
>
> > operator says, "Very well. Please insert $600,000 for the first three
> > minutes."
>
> E.T.: Beverage on the Internet for aliens.

Four Ale -ians: Spacemen who like a bar with a full range of old fashioned
beers.

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:48C0D03F.C806CA55@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
>
> nemo wrote:
>
> > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:44F3D9A2.D9B22372@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >
> > > nemo wrote:
> > >
> > > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > news:42EBD0F8.73FB256C@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > dobeygjr@yahoo.com wrote:
> > > > >
> > > > > > Dont rein on my parade!
> > > > >
> > > > > Which land animals are the wettest?
> > > > >
> > > > > Raindeer.
> > > >
> > > > You missed a good 'un!
> > > >
> > > > Catarrh Music.
> > > >
> > > > By Tchaicoughsky?
> > >
> > > J Street: A street of blue birds, frequented by J walkers.
> >
> > . . all drunk on J walkers' whiskey?
>
> K Street: Street of islands (See "Timothy of the Cay").

A Road: Where Saint Sebastian was executed.

 

145 days to January 30.

 

155 days to February 9.