Re: 03/04/05 Puns

Centimeter: Smelly unit of measure.

Compound: A 454 gram computer (IIRC).

Cotton: 2,000 pound bed.

Damnation: A country of mother deers.

Damnation: A country dependent on hydroelectricity.

Donation: A nation of female deer.

Gramma: Mother of the Metric system.

Grampa: Father of the Metric system.

Kilobyte: a very large meal.

Kilohertz: The Pepto-Bismol you take for relief from your kilobyte.

Kilobyte: A deadly meeting.

Kilometer: What 1,000 meter readers read.

Kilogram: 1,000 grandparents.

Megaphone: One million phones.

Microphone: 1 one millionth of a phone.

 

Dreamer: Ocean of fantasies.

Dreaming: Chinese vase of fantasies.

Fanti-sea: Ocean of dreams.

 

Vulnerable: Easily defeated bull.

Trouble: Another mean bull.

Kabul: Afghan Bull.

Frantic: Excitable tic.

Romantic: A tic in love.

Rustic: Oxygenated iron tic.

Attic: A high tic.

 

E-flat: Online apartment.

C-flat: Another online apartment.

B-flat: Under a piano that fell on a beehive.

Econ: Rich Internet scam artist.

Icon: Another Internet scam artist.

 

"Sir F. A. Rien" wrote:

> On Sun, 20 Aug 2006 14:12:35 -0400, "marika" <marika5000@gmail.com> found
> these unused words floating about:
>
> >
> >"nemo" <nemo@naughtylass.wet> wrote in message
> >news:%b1Gg.131670$F8.26615@fe3.news.blueyonder.co.uk...
> >>
> >>>
> >> Is that irony, our Ronnie?
> >>
> >> Anyway, fan queue, and yet others claim I'm a man of small calibre!
> >>
> >> The forum of Kentish Town used to be good too - except that was a cinema.
> >>
> >>
> >
> >wow, killer joke, man
> >
> Thus sprocket a complete idiot!

Rocketry: Tree that takes off.

 

Sheila Dundee wrote:

> Jenni Saqua wrote:
> > "Sheila Dundee" <CorKa@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> wrote in message
> > news:404c33e6$0$31901$afc38c87@news.optusnet.com.au...
> >> Jenni Saqua wrote:
> >>> "J. A. Mc." <jaSPAMc@gbr.online.com> wrote in message
> >>> news:cknm40p4vm2aqc59e1m59fgja22pfnrppd@4ax.com...
> >>>> On Sat, 6 Mar 2004 23:34:36 -0800, "Jenni Saqua"
> >>>> <mara326no@spam.netscape.net> found these unused words floating
> >>>> about:
> >>>>
> >>>>> "Cybe R. Wizard" <Cybe_R_Wizard@WizardsTower> wrote in message
> >>>>> news:20040306173115.54c86b5d@WizardsTower...
> >>>>>> On Sat, 06 Mar 2004 10:06:32 -0800
> >>>>>> J. A. Mc. <jaSPAMc@gbr.online.com> wrote:
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>>> On Sun, 7 Mar 2004 01:45:09 +1030, "Sheila Dundee"
> >>>>>>> <CorKa@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> found these unused words floating

> >>>>>>> about:
> >>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>> nemo wrote:
> >>>>>>>>> Palema <palema.04@sbcglobal.net> wrote in message
> >>>>>>>>> news:nts1c.7352$V%4.6081@newssvr23.news.prodigy.com...
> >>>>>>>>>> Sheila Dundee wrote:
> >>>>>>>>>>> Dr Tormento wrote:
> >>>>>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>>>>> "Sheila Dundee" <CorKa@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> wrote in
> >>>>>>>>>>>> news:4045b98c$0$12760$afc38c87@news.optusnet.com.au:
> >>>>>>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>>>>>> My new bf is a landscape gardener..but all he wants me
to
> >>>>>>>>>>>>> do in bed is grown and mown. :-(
> >>>>>>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>>>>> So you're his hoe?
> >>>>>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>>>> No, but I pick up his dirty lawn dry.
> >>>>>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>>> He must be a gay blade!
> >>>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>> Careful. He might rapier!
> >>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>> I will never foil in love :-(
> >>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>> She's just a parry girl until they dagger away.
> >>>>>>>
> >>>>>> Oh, who will saber from such a fate?
> >>>>>>
> >>>>> It's an old story... the spirit is willing, but the fleche is
> >>>>> weak.
> >>>>>
> >>>> Sheil's constant man hunt makes a baudry point. <G> Any man who
> >>>> falls for her, will epee!
> >>>>
> >>> What with her octave imagination, I'd be en garde after that one,
if
> >>> I were you...!
> >>
> >> Thrust you lot to make fun of me!
> >> :-(
> >> Frankly your jokes are pass?!
> >>
> > Bravo! But I doubt you'll star in a chic flick... those are quite
> > obviously fake tierce.
> > Anyway, you know we were just bayonet the moon a bit~~ :-D
>
> Fake! Now I am really cross and hurt to the corps. Those tierce were
> assault filled!!

Pat Tern: Irish bird.

Pat Ting: Irish/Chinese bell.

Con-Nick: A male Conehead (Alien with a pointed head who eats mass
quantities).

Dedi-Kate: A very focused woman.

Demon Nick: A man with horns and a pointed tail.

 

Weepy: We go to the bathroom.

Windy: Demon that farts.

Zombie: Undead apine.

 

20 days to Sputnik Day on October 4.

 

90 days since Gay Wedding Day in California on June 16.

 

70 days since 7/7.

 

195 days since 02/04/08.

 

50 days to the election on November 4!

 

55 days to Fall of Berlin Wall Day on November 9.

 

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:419EFDE1.3D345F45@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > Palema wrote:
> >
> > > "...Two weeks after the bustier bust, almost no one has come to
the
> > > defense of Janet Jackson. I do so with a full heart. By baring a
single
> > > breast in a slam-dunk publicity stunt of two seconds' duration,
this
> > > singer also exposed just how many boobs we have in this
country..."
> > > --Frank Rich, NY Times 2-15-04 [Read more at
> > > http://www.nytimes.com/2004/02/15/arts/15RICH.html - requires
> > > registration, but its free ]
> >
> > Janet: A website about the 1st month of the year.
>
> Mosquito Net: Website about foot complaints you can pick up in Moslem
places
> of worship.

Mosquito Indians: Native American pests in Nicaragua.

 

dustbird wrote:

> Quaker Instant Goatmeal

Quaker Oats: Horse food that shakes the church down.

 

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:3F9196EE.891B7EF2@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Orkin: Children of mineral bearing rocks.
> >
> Baring straits - non-gay strippers.

Baring: A ring that makes you nude.

 

Ascending: Rising bell.

Descending: Falling bell.

Pending: A bell that writes.

RC: Ocean of rear ends or donkeys.

Vending: Ringing stores.

 

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4157C243.81043573@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Concave: Against spelunking.
> >
> > Content: Against camping.
> >
> > Contrail: Against hiking.
> >
> > Contour: Against French bicycle races.
>
> Contradiction: Against Lesbianism.

Contradiction: How Nicaraguan rebels talk.

 

225 days since 02/04/08.

 

45 days since August 2.