Re: 03/04/05 Puns

30 days to October 27.

 

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:43327319.A4CA702B@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Remains of a ghost that's been set fire to: Ghoulash.
> >
> > What does the Indian ghost live in?
> >
> > A creepy teepee.

2 x 17 days to halloween!

 

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:48CF4392.F73D5A86@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
> nemo wrote:
>
> > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:4157C243.81043573@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > Concave: Against spelunking.
> > >
> > > Content: Against camping.
> > >
> > > Contrail: Against hiking.
> > >
> > > Contour: Against French bicycle races.
> >
> > Contradiction: Against Lesbianism.
>
> Contradiction: How Nicaraguan rebels talk.

Such as . . . . "When is our next consignment of loads of money and weapons
from the CIA arriving?"

 

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4430C7FD.3B82BFE2@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:41930A1E.CD165321@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > nemo wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > > news:4191B108.7E8F9C86@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > > Compeer: Computer colleague.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Compel: Charismatic computer.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Compete: Computer that likes to race.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Competition: Computer political activist.
> > > > >
> > > > > Compose: A robot standing in a silly way.
> > > >
> > > > Compose: Computer poetry
> > > >
> > > Robots write poems in HEX,
> > > While standing on big metal legs.
> > > The long stream of bits,
> > > Can get on your tits
> > > Till you plug up your ears with some pegs!
> > >
> > > Boom Boom!
> >
> > Do witches write in HEX also?
> >
> > Hexing: Singing witches.
>
> An Iraqi witch got blown up by a time bomb when she took to the air one
> night. She failed to hear her broom's tick!

I shudder to imagine what would happen if magicians got involved in the
Iraqi insurgency!

Time Bomb: Bomb that blows you into next week.

 

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4430C4AF.5FC102B3@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Raphael Kearns <raphael@kearns.fsnet.co.uk> wrote in message
> > > news:cmp2ud$2bu$1@newsg2.svr.pol.co.uk...
> > > >
> > > > "nemo" <nemo@naughtylust.wet> wrote in message
> > > > news:jX8gd.59654$i02.17236@fe1.news.blueyonder.co.uk...
> > > > > CCTV: A channel that only shows gay programmes.
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > GUMTV: A channel which outlines pitfalls of unprotected sex.
> > > >
> > >
> > > BBC: Run by two marine apines.
> > >
> > > ITV: All the employees are permanently stoned.
> > >
> > > ABC: A station based on the only part of the alphabet that Geroge
> > > Dubya-Your-Oil-Money Bush knows.
> > >
> > > Fox News: A station that fox the Democrats at every opportuninty.
> > >
> > > Fox Kids: What Michael Jackson does. Bastard!
> >
> > C-SPAN: Does shows on ocean crossing bridges.
> >
>
> OUTSPAN: Name of Apartheid South African oranges to make you think they came
> from Spain and not boycot them.
>
> Wilkim to Sithiffrikkeh! Pollop a blekkmen an siddown!
>
> Miss Lee Ding: Apartheid South African government advertising exec.

Boycot: Son of a mancot and a womancot. His sister is a girlcot. They
eat apricots.

 

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:41930A1E.CD165321@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:4191B108.7E8F9C86@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > Compeer: Computer colleague.
> > > >
> > > > Compel: Charismatic computer.
> > > >
> > > > Compete: Computer that likes to race.
> > > >
> > > > Competition: Computer political activist.
> > >
> > > Compose: A robot standing in a silly way.
> >
> > Compose: Computer poetry
> >
> Robots write poems in HEX,
> While standing on big metal legs.
> The long stream of bits,
> Can get on your tits
> Till you plug up your ears with some pegs!
>
> Boom Boom!

Do witches write in HEX also?

Hexing: Singing witches.

 

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:433E0946.81757C21@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > Larry Krzewinski wrote:
> >
> > > On 28 Apr 2004 13:38:18 -0500, "Milton J. Smuthworthy, I"
> > > <tonworthyCLOTHES@SexMagnet.com> wrote:
> > >
> > > >>>> She says she told Milt so?
> > > >>>
> > > >>> Does she ever! You should hear what else she tells him. Why, if I
> > > >>> wasn't pledged to secrecy I could give you all the juicy tidbits.
> > > >>
> > > >>Imagine my dismay at not being privy to such details.
> > > >
> > > >Don't worry. I'll never tell how "M" calls and asks what
> > > >turns guys on so, you know, they can...well I can't go into
> > > >detail. Evidently, those "Girls Gone ____" (I can't divulge
> > > >what here) tapes aren't doing the trick any more.
> > >
> > > Hey, I'm over 50. Now a days when she asks me if I want to go
> > > upstairs and have sex I tell her to pick one or the other since I
> > > can't do both.
> >
> > Get an elevator.
> >
> > Ella Vader: Sister of Darth Vader.
> >
> > Evader: Darth on the Internet.
> >
> > Invader: Darth being sodemized.
>
> Vader and Onion: Darth being curried!

I'm Luke warm on that one.

 

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4155CFCC.2937F2ED@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:4041E45F.FE7DDE65@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > Beechwood: Sandy trees.
> > > >
> > > > Box Elder: What they made gramps casket out of.
> > > >
> > > > Karl Marx Roses: First Red Roses.
> > > >
> > > > Redwood: Very tall trees much loved by environmentalists.
> > > >
> > > > Readwood: A book.
> > > >
> > > > Statice: Very high ranking flowers.
> > > >
> > > > Sycamore: Don't want another bite.
> > > >
> > > > Sycamore: What Valerie Harper said about reuniting with Mary Tyler
> > > > Moore.
> > >
> > > Hornbeam: Wife's expression when she sees the results of her husband
> taking
> > > Viagra!
> >
> > Hawthorne: Laughing prickly plants.
> >
> > Mulberry: A berry on which kids see all sorts of weird animals.
>
> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mul
>
> The things some peep hole use their PCs for!
>
> It was also a prefabricated WW2 harbour used during the D-day landings - and
> British, d'ya hear? BRITISH!!!

Briton: 2,000 pound inhabitant of Great Britain.

 

140 days since May 13.

 

15 days to October 15.

 

150 days since May 3.

 

185 days since March 29.

 

225 days to May 13.

 

230 days since February 13.

 

240 days to May 28.

 

25 days to October 25.

 

260 days since January 7.

 

280 days to 7/7.

 

320 days since November 16.

 

350 days to September 15.