Anti-Irish joke section.

Here's a section where you can post your anti-Irish jokes.I'll start off with a couple;

Why did the Irishman throw his alarm clock out the window? So he could see time fly.

There were 3 people in a plane above Ulster.They were the Pope of Rome,Her Majesty,the Queen,& the fiercest Royalist in the entire British Commonwealth,Ian Paisley himself.The Pope of Rome said,"I'll throw out something special for my people.".He threw out some 'holy' water.Then Her Majesty,the Queen said,"I'll throw out something special for my people.".She threw out a few knighthoods.Then Ian Paisley stood & boomed,"I'll throw out something special for my people!".He then went ahead & threw out the Pope of Rome.

Aidan.

 

If you are going to tell a tasteless joke, at least make it funny. These struggle even for the absurd.

 

An Irish priest and a Rabbi get into a car accident. They both get out of their cars and stumble over to the side of the road.
The Rabbi says, "Oy vey! What a wreck!"
The priest asks him, "Are you all right, Rabbi?"
The Rabbi responds, "Just a little shaken."
The priest pulls a flask of whiskey from his coat and says, "Here, drink some of this it will calm your nerves." The Rabbi takes the flask and drinks it down and says, "Well, what are we going to tell the police?"
"Well," the priest says, "I don't know what your aft' to be tellin' them. But I'll be tellin' them I wasn't the one drinkin'.":whistle:

 

Ian Paisley

Isn't that a war criminal?

 

LOL

 

I"m not sure it is a good use of this technology to make this the anti-anybody section. With all of the serious political and religious problems in the world, many threatening to the continued existence of the American Republic, thinking people should be able to do better than this.

Don't bother responding with any comments about having a sense of humor. Nothing that has been posted is either new or funny.

 

The one with the three people in a plane, which Aidan also posted http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:Ian_Paisley#Joke here, is based on an actually funny one from 1943/44 that I once read in a book about "whispered" (anti-)nazi jokes. Hitler, Göring and Goebbels in a plane above destroyed and starving Germany. As a gesture of generosity, Hitler throws some butter coupons out of the window. Göring thinks, ha, I can top that, and throws meat coupons out. Then Goebbels asks the pilot what else could be dropped in order to make the people down there a little happier. The pilot says, "well, if I threw you three out of the window ..."

Christian

 

What is the difference between an Irishman and his photograph?

The photograph is fully developed!:high5:

 

May the sun never shine on your face and may spit rain down from the sky upon the lot of you.
The four leaf clover society will not be smiling when they see this, that is if they sober enough to read it.

 

What do you do if a Irishman throws a pin at you?

Run like mad- he's probably got a grenade between his teeth!

 

Ha ha ha! Lol, OldDan, those are really funny!

 

What is the fastest game in the world? Playing pass the parcel in a Dublin pub. (The 'parcel' is actually a Sinn Fein/I.R.A. bomb).

Aidan.

 

ok theres 2 irishmen in a car, who driving?

a cop

 

Hey! I resemble that remark!

 

I think that there were many incidents of torture committed against the Irish on trumped up IRA charges, Is that correct?

 

Ulster Volunteer Force, and Irish Republican Army - partners in crimes against humanity.

 

The Ulster Volunteer Force are generally good people.Sinn Fein/I.R.A. deserve nothing less than to be put to death!

Aidan.

 

There once was an proud Irishman named Pat, who went to heaven and saw St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter asked, "Who are you?"
and Pat replied, "My name is Pat, I'm an Irishman, born on St. Patrick's Day,died on St. Patrick's Day, marching' in the St. Patrick's Day parade."
St. Peter said to Pat: "Yes, this is true! Here's a little green cloud for you to drive around heaven in and here is a harp that, when you push this button here, will play 'When Irish Eyes Are Smiling.' Enjoy it,Pat. Have a good time in heaven."
Pat jumps on his little green cloud,punches the button, and heads out with a smile on his face and a song in his heart. He's having a wonderful time in heaven, driving his little green cloud around. But on the third day, he's driving down Expressway H-1 with the harp playing full blast when, all of a sudden, a Jewish man in a pink and white two-tone cloud with tail fins roars past him. And in the back of this cloud is an organ which is playing all sorts of celestial music. Pat makes a U-turn right in the middle of the Heaven Expressway and charges back to the Pearly Gates. He says,
"St. Peter, my name is Pat,I'm a proud Irishman. I was born on St. Patrick's Day, died on St.Patrick's Day, marching' in the St. Patrick's Day parade. I come up here to heaven and I get this tiny, insignificant little green cloud and this little harp that plays only one song, 'When Irish Eyes Are Smiling.'But, there's a Jew over there. He's got a big, beautiful pink and white two-tone cloud and a huge organ that plays all kinds of celestial music and I, Pat the Irishman, want to know why!"
St. Peter stands up from his desk. He leans over and motions Pat the Irishman to come closer. Then he says:
"Pat, shush! He's the Boss's Son!"

 

I am pretty sure that Amnesty International came out with reports saying that torture and trumped up charges were regularly used against the Irish who were not bombers. was it the Ulster group doing these crimes?

 

An Irish homosexual is an Irishman who prefers women to booze.